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Parenting - enjoyable?

7 replies

Gemzee · 11/04/2023 14:47

Can anyone tell me what they enjoy about parenting? I really struggle and mostly feel bored/stressed - there are moments when my son makes me laugh that I enjoy it but I'd say that's maybe 10% of the time - the rest I'm a stressed/tired/bored mum.
As this is Mumsnet I probably have to clarify that I do love my son! I don't love parenting though.

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iliketobooogie · 11/04/2023 14:49

I think there will be people on here who say they love it, but I think 90% of people would agree with you. Parenting is full on, at times very very boring, and very stressful and hard work at times too. What is sprinkled in there is a little bit of a magic, and an animalistic type instinct to love and care for them whatever happens.
How old is your DC OP?
I only recently found my DS fun to be around and he's 3 now.
Even then I still need the nursery 4 days a week!

Gemzee · 11/04/2023 14:52

iliketobooogie · 11/04/2023 14:49

I think there will be people on here who say they love it, but I think 90% of people would agree with you. Parenting is full on, at times very very boring, and very stressful and hard work at times too. What is sprinkled in there is a little bit of a magic, and an animalistic type instinct to love and care for them whatever happens.
How old is your DC OP?
I only recently found my DS fun to be around and he's 3 now.
Even then I still need the nursery 4 days a week!

He's 4 (nearly 5) and off for School holidays so I know I'm finding it harder being home with him (him at school and me going to work is better!). He's not a bad kid at all, very much a normal 4 year old pushing boundaries but it really stresses me out!

OP posts:
iliketobooogie · 11/04/2023 15:15

Don't worry you are not alone, I totally understand the feeling you get. I just had 5 days off with mine over Easter, he was moany and miserable half the time and made it really hard work!

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BertieBotts · 11/04/2023 15:31

I like watching them grow and develop - learning a bit about child development is interesting here because you get to see it in action. There is a good (old) series of books called "Your X Year Old" by Louise Bates Ames that I like, or look up the old series of Child Of Our Time or that Secret Lives of Four Year Olds programme.

I like talking to them to see what they think about the world - that is always fascinating and sometimes hilarious.

Four year olds are pretty full on and really benefit from being kept busy - do you have a mixture of things planned for each day? I tend to find that if I manage the day a bit like a giant lesson plan (I used to teach EFL) it goes better. So I have morning chill/TV/toys/lazy breakfast time until about 9, then we try to do something either an activity in the house, or go out. If we're home, early lunch around 11/11:30. If out we might be able to push it to about 12/12:30.

After lunch some free play and then around 2pm they get antsy again so snack and then go out for a local walk or another activity. Back by 4 to start on dinner. Put TV on (any time from 3ish) especially if I can't be arsed to deal with offers of "help". DH is usually home by around 5 so that's not too bad.

By activities I mean I have a mixture of:

"Big" toys that I don't necessarily need to have input into but don't come out all the time, so I might set up a play cafe or something or dig some bigger playset out of a pile it's been buried in or put the play tunnels out in the living room.

Board games or jigsaws that I'll join in and play/help but only take about 15 mins.

Colouring books/puzzle books/sticker books, writing or pen or scissor practice and free printable stuff. You can just google "Free paw patrol colouring" or whatever they like and find loads of stuff. This can occupy them for a while especially if you make impressed noises every now and again. Craft glue or glitter glue is a risky favourite.

Occasional kits like a baking kit or craft kit. I find it's worth having around 1 of these per school holiday week.

Me getting on with some household task that I don't mind if they help with, even if their help is "help".

Playdough or a tray of rice, kinetic sand, hama beads etc. Anything fiddly and requiring concentration. Needs supervision but not a huge amount of input unless you want to. I sit with a cup of tea.

Reading books together - especially a more "grown up" book like an Usborne fact book or something. (Library is a great outing).

Also, everything is better with company. Day trips out with friends are great. Even just simple playdates alternating houses or meeting people at the park is great or more everyday outings like swimming. Visit relatives or other people who are also on school holidays.

It's also only enjoyable if you get a break - it can burn you out if you're constant kid wrangling.

Echobelly · 11/04/2023 15:33

I wouldn't say it's fun but it's been incredibly interesting between the dull, sloggy bits. I'm enjoying it quite a lot now they're 11 and 14 so much less schlepping and they can do stuff for you. But the good bits make the tedious bits worth it!

AlltheFs · 11/04/2023 15:39

I love it, but DD goes to nursery 4 long days so I am not having to entertain her full time. I enjoy playing and seeing how she experiences the world on the 3 days we are together but on the 4 nursery says I only see her for a couple of hours.
Also DD is a pretty easy child, so she’s more fun than she is challenging.

Every day she astounds me with her thought, opinions, insights etc. I find seeing her learn and develop absolutely fascinating. It also probably helps that we are pretty alike and she’s not a morning person either and I still love toys and imaginary play.

DH is also very hands-on and a genuinely equal parent so I get me time too. I know I’d feel differently if I was SAHP or single parent.

AudreyJL · 11/04/2023 17:37

20% of the time I feel stressed with my young toddler when she’s so clingy and just wants to be held and me not having any personal space 😅 but 80% of the time I love parenting my little girl. I love exploring the world through her eyes, I love playing with her and running about and making her laugh, I love how she wants to copy and help me with things around the house although sometimes this requires me to take a deep breath to cope with the mess

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