I'm 25 weeks pregnant and have a 21 month old. I work full time as a teacher and am on Easter Holidays at the moment.
I feel like the last few weeks especially I've been feeling really anxious/down about becoming a mum of 2 and that actually parenting is crap. I love my daughter and miss her when she goes to granny's or when she's in bed but I feel like I dread any time right now where I have to parent her myself. I find her difficult and I feel I've got no patience and I'm easily frustrated. I guess the point of this post is that I'm starting to wonder if I've got antenatal depression (I've got a history of depression and have been on antidepressants for 5+ years and previously felt they worked well at keeping me on an even keel) but actually I'm worried I'm just lazy and don't want to do the hard parenting and that I maybe fundamentally just don't enjoy being a parent and despite a chance in dosage or whatever, I might just feel the same. Even today when I was making breakfast I thought maybe I just do the 3 months full pay and then go back to work instead of stay off for 9 months to a year. I'm very lucky that I have support, my husband is off one weekday as well as weekends and both sets of grandparents are very hands on. I think my daughter prefers her dad since he has her once a week himself whereas I work Mon-Fri as I started a new job and wasn't in a position to apply for any part time hours (which I can of course now do following this mat leave if I wanted). Sorry this has been a bit of a ramble and thanks for making it this far if you have. Any advice, related experiences etc would be hugely appreciated ❤️