Temper tantrum in nearly 6 year old?

[raspberryjuiceandpompoms]

just wanted to see if I’m alone in my experience. My nearly 6 yo DS throws frequent tantrums and I’m starting to wonder if it’s age appropriate, my bad parenting or something else.

basically, the cause of all of his tantrums is failed expectations. If, say, he was helping me doing dinner and he thought he knew how to chop a cucumber and it didn’t work or I told him how I want it done. Or during Easter egg hunt he couldn’t find all the eggs and then he asked dad if he saw any so the dad replied “I see one there” and pointed - that’s it, major tantrum.
he never tantrums because of anything else.
mid it normal in your opinion?

he also likes to play mind games with “I didn’t say that” “why would I?” etc. so it’s all really been wearing me down lately… every day we do something wrong and it’s something we say or do when he didn’t want it or expect it.

I can’t cuddle him whilst in tantrum, he would just scream and kick and then he will spend 30 minutes behaving like he doesn’t want me there but actually he does so get more worked up and upset. Sometimes his tantrums are so bad, he would fall asleep staring after… 😭

I don't think it's usual for a 6 year old no. Have you ever spoken to a health visitor about it?

@Yamaya no I haven’t… I thought HV only help with 5 yo and under..?

Oh maybe. You could try talking to the school and ask to speak with the head of SEN?

I doubt they will do anything tbh. He is an exemplary student, kind, passionate for learning, eager to please (teachers words) and “above average” in pretty much every subject… he’s also quite good at sports. So we won’t be a priority I think. Thank you though @Yamaya you kind of confirmed that I need to look into this a little more.

My daughter is almost 6 and also has tantrums. We had a couple of her friends around last week and they both had spectacular tantrums on leaving. So I don't think not being able to fully regulate your emotions is unusual at this age. Mine also tries to get away with things by bending the truth or pretending to forget. I don't think she's being manipulative just testing the boundaries and learning about how this stuff works.

I have a 5 year old who still tantrums often. His twin brother doesn’t tantrum at all, so I like to think it’s more due to personality rather than parenting! I’m not sure if it’s normal or not though, he is apparently very well behaved at school.

It’s fine OP don’t worry - lots still have tantrums at this age or meltdowns- it’s temperament and your DS sounds bright, sensitive and able so it’s most likely related to frustration at having his will crossed or not being able to accomplish something he wants.. tiredness/ illness/ hunger and general school holidays will make them worse and anxiety. It does just take some kids longer to master their emotional regulation than others unfortunately! X

Thanks ladies! Good to know I’m not the only one. I brought up this issue with his teacher and she said it was unusual for him so he’s a little angel at school. It’s like 2 different children. The one I get is a pint sized tyrant. They get the well behaved one 😅

that’s interesting @Prangeal that your twins are so deferent. I guess you’re right @Genevie82 some children do take longer. I am a very anxious person so that might affect DS or how I perceive him..

I disagree that this is outside the range of normal. It might not be what all six year olds do but he's certainly not alone. Of my two DCs one rarely had tantrums but always has been and still is, moody.

The other had tantrums but was otherwise a very sunny little personality. The tantrums decreased in frequency and length over time but he was 8 before they stopped entirely.

He's probably trying to assert his own independence and doesn't like failing. Normal at this age. Please don't worry.