Social media makes me think my baby has autism

[nakeklak]

Eldest is 3 next month, I've always expected something is slightly different about him. Now, every video I see on Instagram that lists autism symptoms describe him perfectly. He had a speech delay but now is talking sentences and is really chatty. We've had issues with food aversion all his life but I think that was down to undiagnosed milk and soya allergy. Should I take any heed of these videos? They mainly list certain movements, playing methods etc. A lot of people say that all babies can have these same characteristics. His nursery have been quite happy with his development so far I think.

Sorry for the bitty post, I'm just about to start bedtime!

The very few times we've seen the HV they've only been worried about his communication, but as I say that has drastically improved the last few months to the point I think he's caught up with most almost 3 year olds.

If nursery is happy with his development, they are probably right as they see a lot of children. Maybe have a chat about your specific concerns?

I really wouldn't worry unless the symptoms you're worried about are causing him actual problems.

My son has the delayed speech, although never diagnosed everyone who knows him thinks he ADHD. He was a fun child to bring up as he has a great sense of humour.

I wasn’t diagnosed with autism until I was 25 so I’d say if you have concerns to get it looked into as it would be much better to know early on!!

There is a lot of stuff on social media that is geared towards stoking fears about autism, and it usually leads either to therapists in the US trying to sell you their courses/1:1 coaching/in person sessions which they claim will help development catch up, or they are geared towards some general fear that autism is caused by vaccines, toxins in the environment etc and they want to to steer you towards some "natural supplement" that they are selling or seed distrust in medicine so that they can sell you alternative medicine.

I honestly think it's harmful, it's harmful to new mothers who are prone to anxiety anyway and don't need to have that niggled away at all the time. It's harmful to the children of parents who fall for the scare tactics and get scared away from "mainstream medicine", it's harmful to people with autism as it stokes fears/negativity about autism.

Stop following those accounts. Look at your baby and celebrate him, his own progress, his own milestones. If you have specific questions, then yes look for answers to those questions, but beware of too-easy answers, especially if it's a lot of "Does your child do this, that and the other? I can help, subscribe to my private expensive group to find out how!" or "Parenting is so hard. I bet you're struggling with this problem, that problem, other problem. Join my £££ course to find out how to fix it." This is a really easy way to tell that they are just in it for the sales, they are not there to actually help people. The content of the groups etc are usually a load of recycled stuff you can find on the internet for free or in books for £7.99 or so.

You can always do the MCHAT screener for autism in toddlers. But honestly I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's not like you really get access to much support in the UK anyway.

@BertieBotts thank you for taking the time to type that reply, I thought a lot of that was true but great to have it reaffirmed by someone else.

And thank you everyone else too

If he isn't showing any unusual challenging behavior and is making progress In your shoes I would write down any thing you feel is unusual and keep it safe in his red book. I would start saving some money in a regular saver just incase you need to go for a diagnosis when he is older that way you want have to wait for the NHS (4 years in my area). DDs private assessment cost £2.5k to give you a ball park figure.

My DD was always quirky but was also an only child and has never shown any challenging behaviour and academically is incredibly bright. It wasn't until she moved to Secondary school that her autism showed up clear and blatant, a mild annoyance to noise became a complete intolerance etc.

Autism becomes much more noticeable in less structured environments so the move to Primary and then Secondary so if he is autistic it's likely to show up then. There's nothing to stop you parenting him as if he does have autism so use plain language and avoid idioms. Be aware of sensory issues and put things in place to help. Give direct one step instructions. Give plenty of notice of what you will do that day and of transitions from one activity to the next.

@Singleandproud thank you for that. It's funny you say about parenting as if he is autistic, we already do a lot of what you listed. He has to be warned of anything that's going to be happening to prevent meltdown, if he's around people or noise for too long he takes himself off to sit on his own to regulate himself so we always have to make sure he's got space to do that. Great idea to start saving now, although as pp said I'm not sure what help there is even with a diagnosis.

@nakeklak what you are paying for when you get a diagnosis (if there aren't other practical needs/specialist schools which are needed) is validation.

Validation for your child that the reason they struggle with things others find easy is because they are autistic.

Validation for your school aged child when they find the hand dryers or diner too loud and can have a pass that allows them to access quiet areas at school to make the day more manageable or for exam access adjustments.

Validation for yourself when you have to cancel plans or parent in a certain way that others don't agree with.

Validation for your child when they are an adult that they can ask for workplace adjustments.

Validation is priceless, understanding yourself, your strengths and your limitations and having coping strategies makes a huge difference to mental health and self esteem.

@Singleandproud that makes perfect sense. You sound a great parent, thank you

So true

Both my kids are autistic and neither had a speech delay 🤷‍♀️
I agree there's a lot of videos going around and to be honest they show no obvious signs of autism just babies being babies!

Virtually anything can be classed as an autistic trait, from only wanting to sit in one place, to eating disorders.

Stop watching the videos.

You're so right. I won't be watching after the wobble I had today