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I don't have a clue what I am doing

7 replies

Ledeke1993 · 10/04/2023 13:52

My little one is 11weeks

And I don't have a clue to look after him properly, like I can do the feeding when hungry, changing nappies etc, but I seem to be missing out a lot for him,

I have no idea what to look for when to up his milk, as I tried once and he was constipated, I don't what the difference between teething pain and hunger cries, that's if he's even teething at all?

His cheeks and chin are red and he chews at his hands like no tomorrow, so naturally I'm putting it down to that.

His naps are all over the place, our flat is bright even if you're trying to make it dark, I do need to look into blackout blinds but it's a very bright building, im not very good at the cues until he's over tired, I try but he seems more alert when I try to get him to sleep,

He's not really interested in his toys (not interested in grabbing), and doesn't interact with them during tummy time, to which also we've only just properly started, he kept screaming when I used to try with him, but he can hold his own head up.

He's a really good baby, and I'm so incredibly lucky to have him but I can't help feel like I'm letting him down, like that I'm gonna be the reason he's behind in development. I've asked my friends and that who have had children but at this point I just feel like I'm bothering them.

Sorry for the long post.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Ledeke1993 · 10/04/2023 13:56

Also he poos once a day if im lucky, but im aware its common in formula fed babies.

And the farting,he let's out really loud farts, im guessing it's not trapped gas but it does sound like it hurts? What's normal?

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Bumble84 · 10/04/2023 14:03

It’s so hard when you’re thrust into motherhood and just have to get on with it. I had a fair bit of experience with looking after babies and it still could not have prepared me for my own. I felt every single bit of what you feel. I suspect I did have a bit of PND and anxiety as well. Not saying you do but be mindful of your feelings. My DD is over 2 now and we have a wonderful relationship.

If my baby was grumbling people would say ‘is she hungry?’ ‘Is she tired?’ And if feel like screaming ‘I don’t have a bloody clue!’ I felt terrible because I didn’t feel like I knew my baby or her needs. It sounds cliche but it does come in time. Although I still can’t differentiate between cries! Trust me if you are feeding your baby and keeping them warm enough, they and you are getting sleep at 11weeks that’s all a baby needs. They’re just potato’s that breathe at that age, they need very little entertaining.

Bumble84 · 10/04/2023 14:04

And don’t worry about the poos and farts. It’s just their digestive system maturing. Unless there’s a big change in habits it’s perfectly normal.

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Eggseggseverywhere · 10/04/2023 14:10

Ime babies chew their hands simply because they have learned a new skill! And they don't Need tummy time - none of mine did and as adults not one of them has a lolling about head!!

incitethismeetingtorebellion · 10/04/2023 14:23

With my first I ditched tummy time after a few attempts. It just gave her the rage. She would lay with her face pressed against the floor and scream at it until I picked her up. Didn't even bother with my second.
And my daughters farts when she was little sounded like they were coming from a full grown adult. Her dad got blamed for them on more than 1 occasion.

F1nit0 · 10/04/2023 15:08

No one knows what they're doing. We are all winging it like you! I've never been able to tell the difference between cries. Couldn't see hunger cues so just fed every 3 hours. I just look at him sometimes like I have absolutely no idea what you want or what to do with you 🤷 I live by the mantra that 'alive is good enough'

I agree with the above that all babies chew their hands around that age. It's a development thing.

Oh and DS farts are really loud! Like adult farts. I know people think it's me when I walk round a shop with him.

Ledeke1993 · 10/04/2023 18:27

Thank you all 🙂, I guess I just needed to vent! I thought when I saw all my friends with theirs they all seemed like they knew what they were doing and I was like nope.

He's usually a happy potato, so when he's having an off day I feel bad that I just don't know how to help!

Although When he farts, I'm just like where on earth did that come from. 🤔

Thank you all again.

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