What screen time rules work at 10?

[rdtf]

Have a dd10. We've allowed 2 hours of screens on weekends and 30 mins in the week after school. She is in activity clubs until 6 most days and until 9 at guides on one night. Screens are switch, iPad games and you tube

She can watch tv in addition but no you tube in the week.

We have tried timers but we have arguments about how long she has been on it. We use a timer and write it down now but she still hates coming off and it's just one more thing or I need to finish this for 2 minutes. It's the first thing she asks for when we get in the door after any time out as a family.

Her attitude and behavior is not great after being on a game .. or watching you tube

What works for you?

30 mins on a weekday evening isn’t enough- they can’t even get into playing a game etc in that time.

We have Ds aged 10 (11 in June), the only rules we have is that he leaves his iPad downstairs at bedtime (goes up at 8.30 and reads for half an hour) and obviously he can’t watch / do stuff that’s not age appropriate within reason (I mean if it’s something he’s not sure about he has to check with us first, he’s usually on it next to one of us on the sofa, not shut away on it). Apart from that we have no rules.

Should say she is very active and plays football matches on Saturday's and we try and get out as a family for one afternoon at least on a weekend so she is not cooped up. We also have piano and guitar which she is enjoying learning but the screens trump everything given a choice!

We try to keep to similar times to yours except we bunch it together so they can go a couple of nights without any computer time and then get an hour in a night. We also tend to give a countdown warning so let them know they have 15 minutes left then 5. We don't allow YouTube at all (unless it's to watch something specific) as I work with children and have seen too many issues stemming from kids watching YouTube that we just have a blanket ban on it.
We still have the odd grump but generally they're pretty good at coming off now (these are my stepkids who now live with us full time and without a doubt were previously addicted to computers and would have huge meltdowns when asked to come off the computer).

We have very similar time limits to you. Although we are flexible in that if the kids ask for say five minutes to finish doing X we let them but we take time away from the next day for tantrums. Not sure if it's working but we're trying to show them that calmly stating what you want and why is far more effective than a temper tantrum.

I use the Google Family app for screen mad ds2 on his Android tablet.

The screen locks automatically when he's hit his daily limit and it seems to take some of the heat out of things. I can give/he can earn extra time bit I'm pretty generous with the allowance so I rarely override it.

DD is 10 ( I also have ds who is 12). 45 mins on a school night ( including tv) if time and I’m pretty relaxed at weekends although we are out a lot as both kids have sports commitments or we go to the beach/ hiking etc so not like they’re on it all day. Nothing allowed before 8am to encourage them to sleep a bit later as otherwise ds would get up at 6am on the PlayStation and then be tired later. No YouTube. No social media bar WhatsApp which I am allowed to check.

She usually just watches tv tbh. iPad and phone more at weekends. She’s not into gaming at all. Ds is.

I give a 5 min warning when time’s up. If they argue about stopping then they lose it the next night.

I’ve also got one of those clear plastic boxes on order that you have a timer on and you can’t get your devices back till it ends ( unless you smash it with a hammer). We’re going to do that as a family at night as I feel I need to be better at modelling the behaviour I want to instil in them.

Apple family has screen time limits so it just automatically switches off

Thanks
Does the Nintendo switch have an auto switch off function too.. that's what's she likes the most and causes the most arguments!

Going against the grain here, but we don't have any formal rules regarding screen time and as a consequence screens aren't a Gollum style "my precious" in our house. When I ask my kids to turn them off I rarely get arguments and their behaviour doesn't change because screen time isn't coveted due to restrictions. I do monitor time spent but I do it quietly and utilise screens for educational stuff. YouTube is a great learning tool (Kurzegesaght is amazing) and even animal crossing can be used to teach maths, science and finances).

If you do some sort of auto switch off make sure you give LOTS of warnings of when it’s about to go off otherwise you’re going to have even more upset and arguments on your hands. Lots of games don’t automatically save so if they’re suddenly switched off she’ll lose all her progress.

Same as us, completely agree.

Same as us. Kids are very active as well with tons of clubs and playing with toys time. They regulate themselves well to be honest.

We don’t allow it. At all. We’ve tried limits, earning time, free access to check regulation and it just doesn’t work. So we’ve removed it completely, no more arguments now. Brain just isn’t developed enough yet.

Same as us. Now dd is older she mostly uses her iPad to watch art tutorials on YouTube, draw and make little animations. She does play some switch games sometimes but doesn't spend long on it. She can take it or leave it and also if good at self regulation because it's never been a restricted thing.

Screens downstairs an hour before bedtime.
No screens before breakfast is cleared away.

The Switch has a parental controls app which lets you set time limits.

Same here. Whilst there was an initial novelty value for mine when they started using tech, they’ve learned to regulate their use themselves. My youngest (11) regularly puts away her phone for a day and instead reorganises her room, plays with hair and makeup, outdoors with friends, creative hobbies…I firmly believe it’s because we haven’t made screens “forbidden fruit”.

No screens before school.
No screens until everything else has been 'done' - ie homework, practice, chores. Then at 10 it was as much screen time as you like before dinner and none after - so if he had no homework one day and was home at 4, he could have a couple of hours. If there was a club/homework/other stuff going on then none some nights.

No screens in the bedroom after bedtime a rule he still sticks to today - so phones and iPad comes downstairs.

Weekends by 10 I was pretty chilled and let him more or less self-regulate, while still making sure we were doing 'stuff' as a family so he had options.

My ds9 would go on all day if we would let him but as the weather is getting better he is out playing more football so it's easier to get him off it as we aren't in the house as much . None on a weekday morning or straight from school , so it's after tea until 7.30 . Weekends are as soon as he gets up , but he tends to mix it with tv so that's prob 6-9am then not again later til after tea .

My DC have unlimited access to everything at their Dads and by their own admission they are on them all the time, so much so that when I offer them to take a book to read (as they have no books there) they say 'theres no point we will probably just be on our tablets'.
I limit for general browsing/play especially during the week but will give extra time for constructive viewing eg using it for homework/art/hobby. They complain sometimes but not a whole lot (but then they are not quite teens) and they understand I do have their best interests at heart, whether they agree with me or not.
I have noticed with the advent of YouTube shorts how increasingly poorly attentive and impatient my DD is. I would love to remove their ability to watch those.

Same here. Ds is 13 and has never had screen time restrictions. No tantrums or anything. Never bothered when we ask him to come off it to go out etc.

Same sort of screen limits but the minute there's any kind of resistance to stopping or sneaking extra time, there's no time the next day. Instant, unwavering, consistent consequences for any 'boundary pushing' and within about 3 months of that he's brilliant with the limits now.

Don't set strict limits either. When I tell them to come off screens they generally accept not to fuss. Tend to give a warning with 5 - 10 min timer so they can save progress ect. (I have a 6yo too). If there is a fuss I have a word about it. They need their downtime and having strict time limits on it may make it feel like its not much fun.

It’s very hard ! Also have dd 10
We don’t have any devices during the week, it just causes to much hassle!
She has it from Friday - Sunday , no limit but she has after school activities on Friday , sports on Saturday and we are generally out for the day on Sunday .
Generally has it for about an hour /90 mins on the Friday , 2/3 hrs on sat and another 2 hrs on Sunday . I hate the screens , I do find a difference in behavior when she has them
She’s allowed tv during the week but doesn’t have much interest in it !
Easter holidays she has had it more , camp this week so won’t have it until the weekend.
it’s really hard especially when some of her friends seem to have it morning , noon , and night !

There is an app called Nintendo parental controls or something like that. Its logo is white & orange.

You set it for any time limit you like and either set reminder for when they should turn it off OR set it to auto shut off itself.