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Parenting

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Original poster

Family Dynamics: Uneven gender patterns?

13 replies

QueenofMean · 14/02/2008 14:50

sorry for the title - couldn't think how to word it properly. Anyway, I would love to hear from large families who have loads of one sex and only 1 of the other. How did this work for your family and how do the children feel about it.

I have 3 beautiful daughters and my youngest is a son. I do worry for my son - not having a brother around and all the sisters and worry that my girls will think they are less special because everyone and I mean everyone has commented on the gender disparity in our family. I have even considered going for #5 for that brother for DS but if it is a girl then will that make things even worse????? Of course a baby is welcome no matter what the flavour by DH and I but am thinking more of the family dynamics and how that'll work.

Your comments and thoughts on this would be appreciated.

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scorpio1 · 14/02/2008 14:52

I am having a DD after my two sons and a dss. I wonder what it will be like too....

FWIW the children thought that it was really weird that baby was a girl - they thought all babies were boys.

robinredbreast · 14/02/2008 16:31

i has two older brothers am waas quite a tomboy then, influence by them im sure

paddyclamp · 21/02/2008 18:46

What makes people think they can comment on the gender imbalance, especially in front of the kids?! How rude!

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bookwormmum · 21/02/2008 18:50

In my family (both sides) there are many more females than males. Both of my uncles and my Mum produced girls as first children and boys as second - however my Mum then went onto have 2 more girls . My sister and I have each produced a daughter as our first (only) children. On my Dad's side (he was the youngest of 4 sons), my first cousins have two daughters and a son respectively. Boys just don't get a look-in .

bookwormmum · 21/02/2008 18:51

If we're talking about my generation and the one following us of course.

evelynrose · 21/02/2008 18:56

You would be amazed by how rude people can be. You have to be in that situation to understand. When my third ds was 6 weeks old, a relative picked him up in front of everyone, starting rocking him and smiling then started saying whilst gazing into his eyes "oh, we wanted a girl, we wanted a girl...". We only see the stupid c*w once a year so goodness knows quite why the gender of our child was so important to her.
Tbh, it would put me off having a fourth because the constant comments about the sex would really get to me.

nooka · 21/02/2008 19:21

I'm one of four, three girls and one boy. Apparently when I was born my brother put a note under my mother's pillow saying how glad he was about the baby but that he wished it had been a boy! Not sure my mother should have told the story so much - probably influenced me to be very tomboyish as a kid, because I looked up to my brother quite a bit. I don't think it made me feel any less special though - we've always known that my mother favoured my brother (not that she would ever admit it) and to be honest felt rather sorry for him because of it!

milkgoddess · 26/02/2008 20:48

oh i was also tomboyish as a kid, i also only had bothers. oh thats a fruedulant slip, i ment brothers not bothers! lol

is there a tomboy link here?

BroccoliSpears · 26/02/2008 20:55

I am the only girl with 3 brothers.

Have never had any negative comments or feelings about it. In fact this thread has surprised me - it had honestly ever occured to me that being in the minority gender-wise could be seen as a bad thing.

I think if anything I was 'special' being the only girl.

Perhaps it's different being the only girl / being the only boy? I'm surprised though.

I did play 'boy' games, of course. Also played 'girl' games though. Have grown up to be a fairly girly adult.

It's made me very comfortable and confident in dealing with the opposite sex, but a little less sure of myself when it comes to making friends with women. Nothing I have issues about though.

milkgoddess · 26/02/2008 20:59

why do you interpret being a tomboy as being negative ? have i missed something? im v girly now,but when i was younger i wanted to be like my brothers.

shelleylou · 26/02/2008 23:53

I was brought up with 3 brothers, when i was younger i was quite tomboyish but a girly grl at the same time. TBH it never bothered me that i had brothers and not sisters. We had a close relationship anyway and this has helped me as an adult as i can associate with men easier than other women i konw as comments behaviour etc dont surprise me.

milkgoddess · 27/02/2008 09:18

yes it does give you a great insight into the male pov doesn't it

shelleylou · 27/02/2008 15:03

It does and means youve got bros to help you out if uyui need it too

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