Help! Easter - how to deal with ex

[BicycleMackie]

Hello, I try super hard to encourage a good relationship between my ex and our 6 year old daughter but I find it very anxiety inducing. He's not involved in her life really. His choice. He acts more like an uncle or grandad. She has seen him twice this year for example. Both occasions perfectly friendly. She sent him a card and a home made present for Easter. He didn't send her anything. When he received the parcel on Wednesday he texted me to say he'd like to FaceTime her before Easter Sunday. So I said sure try anytime. He did it really early this morning (I was still asleep!) he then texted and said he was going out but would try later in the afternoon. I felt anxious all day even though we were out at a theme park. By 4pm he hadn't FaceTimed so we sat on a bench and FaceTimed him. No answer. At 9.30pm tonight he texted to say he'd been busy at his Nephew's birthday and could he call "sometime tomorrow morning". But I don't want to get up early on Easter Sunday. My little one will get up leisurely and we will have a quiet day with some presents/eggs/ Easter egg hunt at home. Nothing is set in stone we do things as and when. I find it very anxious having him potentially calling hanging over us all day. Also it's disappointing for her if it doesn't happen. And I don't want to get up early. What would you do?? What would you say? I want to be a good mum and encourage their relationship (I arranged and sent the card/present for example) but I have a right not to feel anxious on two consecutive days surely? Tell me what to do/ text back. Thank you!

I'd just reply 'Lovely. We're normally up by XYZ, so any time after that would be perfect.'

As he's proved unreliable, I wouldn't ever tell your daughter he's going to call, just make it an 'exciting surprise' if he does. Try not to worry about it. Just get on with your day and enjoy the time together so it doesn't matter if he calls or not.

This was what I was planning to say too. I wouldn't say call anytime again, work out what works for you, for us this would probably be late afternoon on weekends or around 4-5:30pm on weekdays. Give him a window, don't tell her unless he actually calls. You need to put boundaries in place around this to protect you both.

tell him you have plans but that you could be available at one of these 2 (or 3) times. List the times. Tell him to confirm which time he prefers and you will be sure to have her available at that time. Your day will fill up so if he doesn’t pick a time you can’t promise availability.

you don’t have to tell her he is planning to call at that time so if he fails she doesn’t have to be disappointed.