Nervous to put baby in own room

[Littlelighthouse]

DD has just turned 8 months. She started off in a next to me and has been in a cot next to our bed for the past couple of months.
I've not wanted to put her in her own room for my own anxieties. We lost our first child (not sids related), and this has made me quite anxious about my daughter's wellbeing and health.
However, DD is still waking through the night, usually twice, occasionally more.
I know that this is normal, and I know that having her in her own room won't necessarily stop this, but I do feel it might be us that are waking her sometimes. We cope quite well with it to be honest, but as I'm preparing to return to work I know it's going to become harder. But I'm so nervous to not have her right next to me anymore, it's all both of us have ever known.
Has anyone else felt like this, and what helped you overcome your anxieties? Also any advice for making the transition (for both DD and me!) would be greatly appreciated! Thank you 😊

Can you temporarily put a bed in her room. That way she gets used to her room and you can start sleeping in there and gradually spend more time in your own bed as you feel ready, but if she’s being fussy or you’re feeling particularly anxious you can sleep in the same room again for a night.

I didn’t move DD until 15 months, I wouldn’t have been ready at 8 months. I really wouldn’t rush it, I can’t see any benefits. It certainly won’t help sleep, they still have all the regressions.

You don't have to move her now if you don't want. Dc1 was 20 months. Dc2 was 2.5yrs

Stick with your instincts, don’t make it too hard on yourself. She will grow up soon enough xxx

Moved my son into his own room at four months old. Was right next door to our room and could easily hear him in the night. He definitely slept better and woke less, zero sleep regressions. He might just be 'a good sleeper' but who knows. Worked for us and I do remember it feeling hard being apart from him, but he was really only a little further away and we all slept better. Important you do what you're comfortable with, there's no rush

You will know when you are ready, and even if you try it and you don't feel comfortable it's just moving a cot back for a bit.

Mine had a breathing monitor on that flashed with every breath so I could see it on the baby monitor whenever I wanted to check in the night. Video monitor as well obviously! Right next to my head.

Try it with a baby monitor and see how it goes?

If you think you might be waking her up it makes sense to try it, if it doesn’t work for you you can always bring her back. Chances are it will be fine and everyone will sleep better.

I'd agree go with you instincts, if you don't want to do it don't do it. In many cultures this isn't done until much much later

10 month old is still in with us. To be honest I have no immediate plans to change that. He sleeps really well and it puts my mind at ease. It's probably more for me than him!

I'm nack at work and it really isn't too bad. He goes to bed at 7, I go about 9.30 so I get enough sleep.

I would say if you aren't ready, don't do it. If you do want to try though, there are a lot of breathing monitors etc out there that could help put your mind at ease.

I put mine in their own room for naps first, then overnight.

I'm sorry for your loss, OP.

We evicted DD at 4 months because I was suspicious we were disturbing her (when we came to bed, plus DP snores, and she was definitely disturbing us of course!) but her bedroom is right next to ours and our house is small. She seemed to respond positively but has always been a terrible sleeper for other reasons. In some ways it was harder because of breastfeeding and getting up, but I’m glad we did it because overall I think it helped her (and us) establish a good bedtime routine. She’s happy as a clam in there now at 9 months, too. If she wakes before 7, she’ll either drift back to sleep or chat to herself and play with her toys until we get up and say hi!

All that said, do what you feel is right. You can always chance your mind if you’re not comfortable too! If you can it might help to move the cot in stages, like over to the other side of the room first. I was so desperately anxious at first but once I realised she was okay and still very, very close, it became normal quickly. The first time she slept through though I didn’t sleep a wink! I considered using a breathing monitor but decided against because I did some research and felt it would increase my anxiety. We stuck with the video one but we can bloody hear her just fine without it! Now we don’t even put the volume on, just the picture for spying and giggling at some of her acrobatics!🕵️‍♀️😂