Dummy one - 3 years. Please be kind!

[BabyLlamaZen]

Yes I know he’s far too old. He’s slept with it since he was tiny because I was breastfeeding 24/7 and it kept me sane. Also meant I could still get him to sleep after I finished breastfeeding around 2 years. We’ve had a lot of other stuff going on and initially it wasn’t affecting his speech or teeth so we let it go. He’s also been ill a lot and had naps (then hadn’t!) so he’d have it for naps too all over the house and then obviously boundaries with when he can have it weren’t good.

Finally it’s starting to affect his teeth but I don’t know what to do. He’s literally never fallen asleep without it. He used to sleep so so badly so it was a lifesaver. I’m worried if he doenst have it he literally won’t sleep and I don’t know how I’ll cope!

I also have so much guilt as it’s such a comfort for him. He is genuinely so upset and genuinely devastated without it. Once he started hitting himself without it. No toy or blanket will do. Is there a way to do this gently or at least get him to find another comfort? We also think there may be additional needs if that helps. :(

Help!

Talk to him about how it is going to go for a few weeks, see if you can find a book about it. Then just go cold turkey. Put them in the outdoor bin so you don’t cave in.

DS was the same, when he was nearly 4 we just binned them all. It was scary and I thought it would be absolutely horrendous, but after the first night in which he was quite unsettled it was fine. He then chose a toy from the toy shop and started taking that to bed and cuddling it. I'd talk about it but ultimately pick a day and stick to it.

If it helps
DC 1 he hung it on a tree for the dummy fairy - in the morning there was a lovely gift. An inflatable ball pit jcb if I remember rightly
DC 2 we have it to the baby ducks. DC 2 was ok with that at the time. We retuned a year later and threw stones at the ducks for taking away his dummy!
Cold Turkey really is best. He is devastated because it’s what he is used to. Not because he ‘needs it’ Eg I would be devastated if I didn’t have a washing machine anymore or the internet . But eventually I would get used to it.
And they don’t remember forever.
DC1 and 2 now lovely well adjusted teens.

Both my sons were aged three and we took dummies to the toy shop. Handed the dummies to the shop assistant and they could choose their favourite toy. It worked for both of them ..good luck 💐

We got rid of dummies at almost 4. Just before Easter we said the Easter bunny needed some dummies for her babies. We put them on the Easter tree in the sat night and she got chocs in place of the dummies on sun morning. Never looked back

Put it out for the Easter Bunny 🐰 so the baby bunnies can have it. And he'll get an Easter Egg in the morning

I do think cold turkey is the way to go. Assuming you aren't working Monday this weekend is ideal or wait to the May weekends, bit more time to get used to it an cope with a couple of broken nights sleep

my DD (4 yrs) also had it every night, gave it up for daytime easily at 2 yrs but we let it carry on at night until a few weeks ago where she got a letter from the dummy fairy asking for us to send them so she could give them to all of the new babies.

We made it fun by giving her a glittery envelope to put the dummies in herself and we pretended to post them. There was a package waiting for her to open as a thank you (a new baby doll, from the dummy fairy) and thankfully she’s been amazing with the transition. Best of luck

My kids gathered their dummies up and left them for Father Christmas so he could “give them to poor babies”. They had the excitement of Xmas to distract them and the feel good factor of helping “poor babies”. I think they were about 2 at the time.
It’s too long till Xmas but could you build a similar story?

My eldest (who will be 3 in June) was never fussy for a dummy until his little brother arrived and ever since he's been glued to it! DS2 is 12 months now and I'm thinking I'm going to have to get them both off them now. I'm dreading it as they both use them as a sleep aid! It needs to be done though as it is affecting DS1's teeth.

We found talking about it going to the dummy fairy for other little babies worked. We talked about it for a couple weeks then left it in the garden for the fairy to pick up (he didn’t want her in the house ). She left him a little gift as a thank you. He had an understanding of why it was going. He talked about it for a week or so then nothing.

Thank you everyone this is all helpful. We just have to pick a time and go for it I think! I need to remind myself that this is the kindest thing to do.

Cut the teats off and give it too him , it works . You haven't taken it from him but he can no longer suck it .

Just give it too him and play dumb.

DS loved his dummies. At almost 4 nursery had a project on recycling . DS little friend at nursery’recycled’ his dummy. So we did the same. Discussed it first and then went and posted them in the bottle bank ( sorry. Afte the first night he was fine.

Our youngest was 3 - we used them because we didn't with DS1 and he just ended up sucking clothes and teddies constantly. Dummies much easier to clean! We did the 'dummy fairy'. There was a special toy he wanted so we said he might be able to swap with the dummy fairy, who might need to use them for new babies. He willingly put them in a little gift bag on the door, got his police car and never looked back once!

We didn't manage to finally get rid of them until Reception. She was obsessed! But she did readily accept that "big children at school don't have them."

No teeth or any other issues.

There is a dummy fairy book you could try.

does he go nursery?
can he give them "to the babies?" in their room?

cut the ends off

cold turkey

We did cold turkey. job done. but we did talk about it first how "big and grownup they are" and the babies need the dummies now

good luck! just do it! couple of days of asking (hell) it will be over!

I slowly cut the teat off my 3 year olds dummy until there was nothing to latch onto and he held it in his hand at bedtime. I think it's really traumatic for children to just throw it away ☹️

Yes! We did this it absolutely worked. We pretended it had got broken, my son held it in his hand for a couple weeks going to sleep and then it fell down the side of the bed and he forgot all about it!