Hi
Im just reaching out for a bit of reassurance as mumsnet is the only thing helping me in the last 8 weeks.
Really struggling as first time mum to a 13 week old. Birth was horrendous - emergency c section without pain relief (hosp messed up my epidural) but I haven’t even had a chance to process that yet. Am bottle feeding due to the trauma though.
My son is a gorgeous baby, generally so content and happy except for his reflux. At 5 weeks, whilst previously being a chunky guzzler, he struggled to take his milk and was in clear amounts of distress and pain. After multiple visits and sobs to the GP was given gaviscon to no effect and fobbed off that he’ll grow out of it. On an emergency out of hours GP visit she prescribed nutramigen for suspected CMPA with no effect.
All the while feeding the baby was becoming the most distressing thing in my life. We had to feed him during naps if we could as he seemed a bit calmer then but even that was distressing. He showed all the classic reflux symptoms. Finally saw a paediatrician privately (who diagnosed him with GERD) and he’s on Neocate and Omeprazole now which I think have definitely got the pain under control. However, the reflux is still really difficult to live with.
Baby is still difficult to feed and whilst I’m trying to feed him awake, he often refuses until
he is very hungry and then also sleepy which makes it even harder to feed him. There is no chance of feeding him when he first wakes up either as he’s incredibly alert and inquisitive and rejects the bottle. So the first bottle of the day is often about 90 mins after he wakes. We are seeing a SALT about these aversive behaviours and I’m trying to relax about him taking the bottle a bit more as I’m sure my anxiety shows through. But I do feel we are making some progress as he is getting better and taking it more - just need to accept my baby is never going to be a text book milk drinker.
He is about 50-100ml away from his daily recommended milk intake and we have been tracking his weight as he dropped from 91st to 75th centole. He is gaining weight just some weeks quite slowly. But it’s a constant concern and worry.
His reflux is still very stressful though. We have multiple projectile vomits a week (sometimes daily), he has a cough (which the consultant has checked) which sometimes causes the vomits and all other classic GORD symptoms.
Otherwise he has been such a happy and alert baby and I try to cherish that. He constantly chats, coos, waves his arms and legs around, loves his bouncer and his play mat. He’s very nosy and likes a lot of attention! His sleeping was getting better (he slept through for a couple of nights) but has taken a turn for the worse this week - after his overnight bottle he just can’t seem to settle in his crib. I have resorted to co sleeping a few times because his sleep in the crib is so disrupted.
All this has taken its toll on me a lot. I feel so jealous of seeing other babies feed and haven’t felt ready to do any mother and baby groups yet. Most of my friends don’t have babies so don’t really understand what I’m going through. My partner is understanding and helps out but works long hours in the city. I haven’t felt ready to go out to all the baby groups yet as his feeding is so difficult.
This week he has become inconsolable at about 8pm for a good few nights. Screamed for hours last night. He never used to do that (unless he was feeding). I think it might be that he needs more naps during the day as is getting overtired and hungry (he’s hungrier at night) or I need to start implementing a bedtime.
I just wanted to reach out to others for reassurance - do things get better?? Im hoping solids will help but have been advised that reflux babies can become averse to those too. I feel so confused and alone in all this.