how to re build life after sons dad assaulted him

[lockdownmummax]

what to do now?

Long story short, my then partner and sons dad ( 13 week old now ) was sent to hospital after I took him to GP as was worried about him, scan revealed fractured ribs, sons dad admitted and he was arrested,

The social services are carrying out an investigation on me, the police done need anything else from me and I won't be charged ( I took baby to gp as soon as I felt something was wrong & called police on sons dad after he told me what he done, he squeezed him out of frustration) the social services are requiring me to stay at my mums house under 24/7 supervision with my kids which I am finding tough as I'm not a danger to them but following social services orders which I hope will be finished with soon,

I have a lovely beautiful home for my kids which I would like to return too, I am a student nurse at university and don't have long left until I am qualified, it's not just for me I am doing this it's for my kids to give them a financially stable up bringing and hopefully a role model to look up to but can I do it?? Alone?? should I?? I have support from my family I am not due to return to uni until October

Me and mt sons dad's relationship had no red flags, I loved the bones off this man and our lives looked bright we had holidays planned with the kids everything was looking very positive until 1 day it all changed and I just don't know what to do going forward? I love my home but the memories? should I move?
what should I tell my kids when they are older?
how do I move on from this every morning I wake up and just feel so low and depressed, I have counselling soon which is good but my god this is something I am struggling to come to terms with?
Do I keep in contact with sons gran ( dads side ) will that effect anything
What do I do if dad wants supervised contact in contact centre?
Anyone been through something similar to give me advice would be really appreciated
I have a 3 year old and baby is now 13 weeks I am on my own for the foreseeable future which is the best thing for the kids but I am just struggling to come to terms with this as it wasn't supposed to be like this

I think you should give yourself some time.

You don’t have to make these decisions now. Focus on you and the children and getting through the investigations over the next few weeks first.

@YetMoreNewBeginnings
it's just really hard I don't know what to do with myself, also worried about the future as I don't know what it holds for me and my kids , just trying to be prepared for the coming months

Oh love firstly take a moment and breathe. It's understandable that this is a horrendous time and an awful shock for you. I understand your feelings regarding supervised contact but try and see it as a positive thing which gives you some additional support and protection. Work with your social worker too, and if they offer you support don't be afraid to take it.
Once this initial horror period is over you can begin to look forward. Speak to your University so they are aware so if you do need to request stepping off programme for a period they're prepared for that. Don't quit altogether; you absolutely can do this and they'll want to support you.
Don't worry just yet about what you tell them when they're older. That is likely to depend in part on the outcome of the investigations and you will find your way through when the time comes.

How awful, I can’t imagine how betrayed you feel. Is your mum happy having you there, I would stay until you feel strong enough to do it on your own. I would probably stay put if you can afford the rent and landlord is happy. Ask him to change the locks though- you will probably have to pay for that. Do you have nice neighbours?

I’m a nurse and you can definitely make this work. Would your mum be happy doing some childcare or would you rely on nursery? If you work long shifts it’s only 3 a week, if your mum couldn’t take them the whole day could she pick them up from nursery and have them a couple of hours? Or you could work out an arrangement with childminder/babysitter for those hours. The wards are so desperate for staff they will likely be helpful at arranging shifts/giving you fixed shifts. When your kids reach school age you could change to a 9-5 job.

You can do this, focus on you and your little family now. You’ll be great

@unrsnblyannoyd
Thank you, it is just so very hard I never imagined my life to be like this, honestly baby was only 11 weeks old when this happened just absolutely horrendous,
Just have to try and rebuild life as it comes I suppose

I remember your other thread and what you've been through is so awful. As others have said, don't make any big decisions and take one day at a time, but on a practical note, is the house in your name? Is your DP still there? He needs to move out so, when you get the okay from SS, you can move back in.

Is he going to court for what he did?

Stay at uni and qualify. Hopefully they will be supportive and help you as you come to terms with everything.

Take each day as it comes for now, be kind to yourself

@AluckyEllie
My neighbours are nice and I can afford the rent myself, my mum is just so stressed and upset over the full situation, such a hard time for everyone involved out hearts are just tore,

I have spoken to my university today I had a meeting with my personal tutor they have referred me to counselling from the university and put support plans in place for me returning, I am lucky I have family to help with the kids and my oldest is in nursery

@Inkpotlover

Yeah it has been a very horrible time just so horrible,

so he has been charged and has bail conditions to stay at his mums and not contact me or the kids, the house was mine first and then he got added to tenancy but the police won't allow him at the house so I don't see any issues with getting his name removed from there and me and the kids moving in
I think this will go to trial but I don't know how long that will take I don't really know the process of all this I just know he was arrested and charged and released on bail, he has not had a court date to say guilty or not guilty but I think if he pleads not guilty it has to go to trial where I will have to go as I have a witness statement against him as I called police when he told me what happened

Oh I really feel for you. You have done everything right and will continue to be an amazing mother to your children. I can offer any advice about the nursing but hope you can figure out some childcare in order to continue. I genuinely wish you all the happiness in the world going forward x