I realise what I’m about to say is going to make people think I’m a cruel person, but I’ve had enough of everything.
I hate being a parent, my child(6yo) is just so much hard work at the moment. Refusing to listen, get ready, go to school, etc you name it, they cause a drama about every little thing during the day/bedtime that my head is a mess by the end of the day. They are fine at school but at home they are testing me to the point where I can’t take much more. I’m drained, emotionally, mentally and utterly exhausted. Between that and dealing with my own mental health (I am in the process of seeing a therapist, etc) it’s just too much!
But if I’m honest I just hate being a parent now, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, and the fact that my partner left when our child was born (2 weeks to be precise), so I’ve been a single parent ever since and it’s just become all to much now.
If I’d of know I was going to be a single parent I probably would not of had a baby, as being a single parent and battling my own mental health has not been a great mix tbh. My child’s dad very rarely bothers, so I don’t get a break, my parents are too old to help now and I have zero friends. So I very rarely get a day to myself, and by the evening after all the drama that goes on, I just head to bed and mostly cry. I’ve been signed off work due to how bad my moods and stress in life are getting, and I’ve found it so hard juggling a career around my child when I’m never focused due to always having shitty burnout.
I resent my ex so much, the fact he can do as he pleases in life, can have a career and not have to worry about who’s doing the childcare, can do his shopping in peace without a child screaming that they’re bored, never having to be late anywhere because he’s had to deal with a million tantrums and meltdowns. I’m just so exhausted, and so unhappy with my life, I rarely look after myself anymore have have let myself go, I’m repulsed by what I look like, but all of my money goes on my child (and rightly so as I’d never want her to go without), but I just feel unhappy with how life has turned out and how unhappy I am as a single parent struggling daily. I love my child, but I find it absolutely exhausting doing this, especially as it was my exes idea at the time to have a child and I honestly thought we’d be together still, so to be left to do it alone is just crap if I’m honest :/
sorry that I’ve waffled on and I hope it makes some sort of sense, my head is all over the place, and I have no one else to talk to about this.