Do I let my DD, age 6, go to a friend's for a sleepover next week (half term)?

[Snowbell]

DD has been invited to a friend's for a sleepover one night next week. She hasn't been to a sleepover at a friend's yet. She has stayed the odd night at her gran's. She is desparate to go but I'm not happy. The thing is there will be 4 older kids there as well. DD's friend's two girl cousins, aged 10 and 12. Plus DD's friend, who is 5, has two older brothers who are 16 and 18. It's the influence of the older children that worries me. There will be such a huge age difference. I haven't even met the brothers, or the cousins so I have no real idea what they are like. I like DD's friend's mum although she is very laid back!

Would you let her go if she was your DD? Am I being over protective? DP is happy for her to go, but says it's up to me.

No I wouldn't. My dd2 went for a sleepover at about age 10, just with classmates, and there were problems - tears at midnight etc.

The only way I would let a child that age have a sleep over would be in my own house so that I could supervise it/choose other sleep-over-ers myself.

I would let her go - dd has had a few sleepovers already ( she is 6 too) it's half term, if she stays up late she can catch up on sleep later in the day. Am pretty sure the boys won't be interested in what the girls are doing tbh

Let her go - it's the school holidays. Doesn't matter if she misses out on one night's sleep.

I can't imagine the older children (16 and 18) will be spending much time playing with the 6yo's
I would just impress on her it's a whole night affair, and it means going to sleep without you then if she's still up for it let her. I'd stay sober enough to drive in case of midnight repatriations, though tbh i've never had one either from my own children or those stayting over.

I would let her go if she wants to and if you know the parents well enough to feel comfortable about it. The teenagers will probably be doing their own thing anyway.

Let her go!

What sort of negative influence do you think the older dc might have? I doubt the brothers will have much to do with the little girls tbh. She might love being around all those older dc you know. Could you not just tell the mother your dd is a bit nervous about all the older dc being there so she is forewarned a bit (I know it is actually YOU that is nervous!). I think she should be fine.

If you really don't like it, why not invite her dd to sleep over at your place this time, drop her home, stay a bit and get to know the brothers so you'll know what you think if the chance arises again.

I wouldn't worry too much about the older kids (although I can imagine that from your pov it's not the 'easiest' situation to have a first sleepover) - as others have said, I'm sure 6yo will be low down their priority list - well after their wiis and mp3s
Maybe explain to the mum that it's her first sleepover, and to feel free to call you at any time if your dd gets anxious (then keep the phone by your bed)

Have just done this with dd3, also 6, under similar circumstances very reluctantly and was amazed when she was invited - and accepted- to stay a second night! The older kids left the younger ones alone. It's good to make it clear that you are available at any hour of day or night to fetch her if anything goes wrong though...

I think I'd let her go (waves at motherinferior)

Franca, hello! you've been quiet.

I let my children 7, 6 and 3 go for sleepovers but only when the parents are my friends as well as the children getting on.

I've been a bit careful for First Ever sleepovers to be in quite tranquil circumstances - so I think wouldn't choose a night when (because of the presence of cousins) rampaging is more likely than not.

As you seem to know dd's friend's mum well, I would see if it is possible for the first sleepover to be done on a quieter night. I am sure she will understand (though if she has huge teenagers it will take her a while to remember all the way back to first ever sleepovers).

Fennel, I have been thinking of you (and ds wanted to ring you). We are still internet less. what a country . but we did go skying

It depends on what you are really worrying about. If you do not trust that your dd will be supervised, if you think this is a situation where a teenager might abuse her, then obviously don't let her go.

If this is not what's on your mind, but you're just worrying about her feeling generally lonely in a new family, then discuss it with her.

I would say it is much more likely that the almost-grown-up teenagers will totally ignore her. Most teenagers wouldn't bother to rampage around a 6 yo; they can go out to do that with much more interesting company.

The two girl cousins will no doubt be shut up somewhere on their own, giggling to each other about the sort of thing that preteens giggle about.

My dd was going to sleepovers at this age, with families we knew very well, and never had a problem.

No, I wouldn't let my DD go who is 6. She has sleepovers at my mum's (bit different I know) but I just think they are far too young IMO.

definitely let her go