Party invites - advice needed

[Annfr]

I realise this is a very small thing to worry about it but it is worrying me so I wondered what others would do.

We've booked our daughters birthday party (who will be 4) and then limit is 25 children. I have a list of 28 children including my child. I know that not every one can come (especially as beginning of school hols) but the thought of over inviting fills me with dread as I'd just be worried til I go some nos.

The reason I feel bad is because my daughter gets on with everyone but is quite quiet compared to some children so doesn't always make the birthday invites lists. I therfore feel really bad for not inviting just 2 or 3 kids.

What would you do just invite 25 or risk 28 to not exclude anyone?

Is it all classmates? If so I’d invite them all but I have never had an all class party with everyone show. I often ask a few (reliable) parents to bring older siblings just in case I have a drop out or three on the day. Last year one dropped out on route to the party 😂. A text to say I’m in the car, on my way, but still no showed. By year 2 you know who is reliable.

Not quite the same as my little one will be 2 and doesn’t really have friends yet but sees the same children at his toddler classes every week. The party I’m booking is for up to 20 children and I don’t know how many to invite as I don’t want to pay for it, invite 20 and have 5 turn up but I’m scared to over invite as what if they all do end up coming? 🙈😂

Do you actually KNOW that not everyone can come? Or are you ust assuming? It reads like you know, in which case just don't invite the ones you know can't come...?

You cannot exclude 3 kids from an all class invite.

The chances of all 28 coming in the school holidays are pretty slim. You will probably get 15-20.

I'd invite everyone. The chances of everyone turning up are extremely slim. You can't exclude three children from a class of 28, that's nasty.

You absolutely cannot exclude a few children. The majority of my sons parties, absolutely everyone has turned up who was invited.

Either pick a new venue or just invite half the class.

This is how I feel and what I really want to do. I'm also just scared that if everyone does say yes, what go do.

No, just what other mums have said about some people not even responding at all etc. Ours will also be at the beginning of school holidays which I thought might make it less likely for some to come.

In that case invite all 28. Stress for a week when you don't get enough no's (this would also be me!!) and pray it works out

I'm not sure that's actually good advice sorry OP. It's tricky but excluding 2 or 3 is really mean, you can't. Does it have to be what you booked? Can't you book something where you can have 28?

Annoying most places here are 25 kids. It seems to be the usual thing to do (soft play) and my daughter has not been invited quite a few times so I don't want to do it at all. (Equally can't have 28 kids plus parents in my garden).

Also, thank you. Nice to know I'm not the only one who would worry!

I agree with others. Just take a gamble. It's not really a gamble as there's no way all 28 will come with it being the holidays. You'll be fine.

I would just set a limit at 10 children. Invite the children she gets on the best with. That is perfectly acceptable, or the entire class. You can't leave 3 or so out, this happened in my DDs reception class this year- a mum left 4 kids out of invites to her kid's party and they were all devastated especially when the rest of the class were talking about it.

I'm not sure if it makes much difference but it is nursery not school so different children can be in on different days and the children don't talk about them afterwards in the same way.

I know my daughter has not been invited as it comes up in convo with other mums.

I'm not disagreeing at all as I don't want to leave anyone out. Some of the kids on the list didn't invite my daughter but I still feel mean. I just don't think it is as clear cut as when they are at school.

Invite half the class with a clever RSVP in one week. Then once you get enough RSVPs declining invite that other half.

Clear* not clever

I had a similar dilemma OP. Slightly different as my daughter is in a mixed age class so I invited all of her year group and out of school friends and once I’d had a few declines I invited the other year group too. I did have the option to pay a bit more for a few more children if necessary but I didn’t need it. For context I think I invited 38 and had 24 come (which included a couple of siblings who weren’t invited but parents requested it and I had space so said yes). The party was this weekend so start of Easter holidays.

Invite them all. I'd be in shock if at least a few couldn't come.

It's tricky. I always hear people saying not everyone will come but we've had 2 parties in Easter hols and both times every single person rsvp'd yes - and they all turned up (some with uninvited siblings...)
We have another party this Easter hols and again everyone who has an invite said yes but we'll see if they all show up or not.

Basically, just saying don't count on people definitely saying no if the venue is really strict on numbers

No way could I cope with the stress of inviting more than the venue could accommodate, what if they all say yes!? I would genuinely have sleepless nights about that scenario so would have to work out something else.

I used to make a note of all the parties my DD didn’t get invited to. Exclude the three if there is any. I had the same issue with a fifth birthday party so just invited the ones I knew she went too. I agree with the other posts you will prob get a few who can’t attend.

Get your daughter to invite a few that she gets on with best. If their are 28 in the class I'd say invite maybe 10 at most. Inviting more than the venue will let you bring is very risky, leaving out 3 or 4 is horrid. Has your daughter got friends from other places she'd invite? I would maybe invite a few friends from outside and then her best friends from her class and leave it at that. Having said that it does seem stupid for a venue to allow 25 cause that's unlikely to be a whole class, but is a lot for not the class. Unless a child has lots of family friends or friends from activities they do, then making up to feel like a reasonable number without inviting loads from school is hard, but it would be rare nowdays for a whole class to be 25 or less.

Could you invite the whole class but say that there's only 25 places so only the first 25 rsvps get a place?😀

I would invite them all and ask for RSVPs. It is unlikely all 28 will come!