Night weaning 9mo. Too young?

[AlmostOver22]

Hi all,

Is 9m too young to night wean?

DS2 seems to need the lower end of the range of sleep for a baby. We’ve struggled for many months with split nights. We now know that if he gets any more than 20 minutes in the morning and 30 mins in the afternoon he’ll be up at night. So he gets 50m naps in the day and then goes to bed at 8, up at 6. He finds it really hard to fall asleep again when he wakes at night. He wakes 3-4 times for a feed, sometimes more. He’s a very big baby both in height and chubbiness. He’s never hungry at breakfast time.

I really need to spend less time settling him back to sleep after a feed at night and more time sleeping.

would you night wean? My preference would be cold turkey because if I don’t feed him at his 4 night wakes for some of them he won’t even cry, he’ll just play and roll and pull my hair, and his capacity for staying awake at night is immense.

thanks all!

How is he fed ?

wow, this sounds unbelievably mean. Babies wake all night long, that’s what they do! He is tiny.
no I wouldn’t night wean a 9 month old.
I would wean a 15/16 month old.

Bottle fed, breast up until about 1m ago

I agree, it does sound mean @BHRK

others might have been through it though and know that it’s 1 or 2 nights of meanness and then far fewer night wakings in return. Or they might say it’s too young in their experience and not worth considering for a few more months. That’s why I’m asking the question.

I don’t think it’s mean to cut out one or two of the feeds. If he wakes three or four times you are still keeping one or two night feeds, which I think are enough for a 9 month old

Physiologically they don't need feeding overnight from 6 months ish. Many babies self night wean around this age (mine did). So no, it's not mean. I would gradually cut down how much you're offering overnight until you are down to 0. So if he usually wakes for 3 feeds, stick with only offering 2 for a few nights, then reduce those feeds a bit in amount, then cut down to one, then reduce that in amount until it's nothing. Try to give him more during the day to make sure he is getting enough in to sustain him overnight.

On a side note - his amount of sleep overall is v low for usual need at this age (less than 11 hours compared to 13/14 usual). It could be overtiredness causing the waking.

@Cma1988 might sound silly but how would I go about it? I’m guessing I’d feed him at my bedtime (so that’s one feed) then if he wakes before a certain time I’d not feed him at all.

my worry with this method would be that if he wakes at midnight for a feed and I’ve resolved not to feed him til 2 or 3, he could quite happily stay awake for those hours without a feed (because he’s so in the habit of being up at night), then I’ll feed him at 2/3 and he’ll drop off, and I might just be reinforcing the split nights. Maybe I should try it for a night and see what happens

He’s 9 months, not 9 weeks. It’s fine to night wean some of the feeds and maybe leave 1.

i agree he’s likely overtired from not enough sleep overall

We night weaned at this age and it was the perfect age to do so for DC. Just pushed the feed back 15-30 min each time. Coupled with increasing food during the day.

My first thought was over tiredness too so I tried to enforce longer naps. Stuck at it for a couple of months (30 mins in the morning, 1-2hrs afternoon) and his sleep got worse and worse overnight. Started with classic split night (one 2hr wake) and ended up with 2 2 hour wakes. That was on top of all the mini wakes for feeds. Now we’ve cut the naps way down we’ve eliminated the split nights, but he’s still waking so often for feeds and is hard to resettle.

I know he’d be upset if I went cold turkey but for the reasons explained upthread I just can’t see the gradual method working for him, as it’s just going to increase the amount of time awake at night and undermine the message that we’re trying to send him that night time is for sleeping.

I’m back at work doing a job that involves a lot of driving, looking after two children and very appreciative of everyone’s advice so far. I know I sound apprehensive about gradual weaning but I really will try anything if the consensus is that that’s best. Interested to hear from anyone that’s night weaned a split nights/low sleep needs baby! Did it help?!

9m not 9 weeks. Its not mean at all

My sanity would be hanging by a thread in your shoes.

Agree he could be over tired.
My DD dropped to 1 nap at 10.5m which is quite early you may want to try that. I gave her lunch at 11.30 and then nap from 12 onwards she now sleeps from 12.30-2/3 depending.

Feed at bedtime and offer dummy or bottle with water. Dont engage in any play and put them in cot. If they are calm leave them to it.
Inconsolable crying... put them down tuck them in.

We gave my dd a bunny comforter at 6m and if she woke she fiddled around with it and she loves feeling it as she falls asleep.

I night weaned at 8 months. He'd previously been sleeping through, then hit 6 months and was up every hour for milk!!! Night feeding isn't required for older than 6 months. Yes, some babies do wake for it and that's fine, but if you're up 6+ times a night sonething needs to be done!

I didn't do cold turkey personally, but a more gradual withdrawl. After a week or two we were all sleeping amazing again

he’s been a bit off colour over the weekend so I’m going to wait until we’re past that (tomorrow maybe?) and then try night weaning. I think I’m going to put him to bed, offer a top up before I go to bed and then attempt to settle without feeding until at least 6am… so it’ll be 10-6 with no feeds 😬 wish me luck

I never weaned my last lg until she was just over 2 if they want feeding I always say feed them

Wow I can't believe how often you get up! Do you feed every time? My daughter hasn't had a bottle through the night since 10 weeks old so I'm definitely team night wean.

Not all baby's are the same my 14 week old never wakes at night for a feed but if he did I would feed him try and get as much milk in the day and then she's might sleep longer at night

Of course it’s fine, mine were both bottlefed and even as brand new newborns they only have had a single night feed and nothing at all beyond 8 weeks old. DC2 was far from a perfect sleeper though! If they have enough in the day then they don’t need it. But I don’t know I’d go cold turkey if you’re on 3-4 feeds a night, that’s got to be a big chunk of their calorie intake so I’d probably do it gradually, otherwise it seems a bit harsh.

That said baby sounds chronically overtired. Overnight is I’m guessing about 8-9 hours of sleep if it’s 8pm-6pm in bed but 3-4 wakes for feeds. Then 50 minutes napping. So something like 9.5 hours total in a 24 hour period? 12-16 hours is normal range at that age. Anything under 12 hours would be extremely low sleep needs. There’s no way that 9.5 ish hours is sufficient.

Also we had a brief period of split nights around 1 when DS naturally dropped his morning nap and his afternoon nap wasn’t long enough to compensate. He was overtired, not under-tired. Started doing pram naps as the movement helped him link sleep cycles, nap went from 40 minutes to 2 hours and voila sleeping through again. Don’t ask me why overtired is a thing, because as a concept it seems ridiculous, but it definitely is!

@FlounderingFruitcake don’t know what to tell you, he’s just such a happy, smiley little boy and doesn’t seem remotely tired in the daytime. I’m hoping if I night wean he might wake less and we might find out what his natural pattern/sleep need is a bit more.

i do hear you about his night time calorie intake… on the one hand he doesn’t need it as he’s a chunk. But on the other he is used to it so will be very confused initially. I think I’ll have to do 10, 2 and 6 for a while before I go for the full 10 to 6

he’s just such a happy, smiley little boy and doesn’t seem remotely tired in the daytime

Sounds just like mine, they don’t necessarily get ratty. Split nights and loads of wakes is definitely a sign that something is amiss in terms of sleep. But you’re probably best to tackle the night feeds first, then that will (fingers crossed!) lead to more sleep overnight and then hopefully you’re good and you won’t need to worry about the naps. I just wouldn’t necessarily make an assumption that bad night sleeps means you need to cut down on naps, or that your baby needs less sleep in a 24 hour period than your average 7 year old. Because babies are weird and don’t always follow logic 🤣
But good luck to you, your 10,2,6 as a starting point for feeds sounds good!

thought I’d update for future sleep deprived readers. 2 nights later things are going pretty well! Night 1 I couldn’t do anything but feed on demand because he had a temp, but I watered the milk down and only fed for 30 seconds or so. He woke up far less often than usual.

Night 2 (last night) I made the watery milk again and fed on demand but only for a few seconds again but this time he only woke up maybe 3 times and two of those I could get him back to sleep by just turning him over and putting his dummy in. This is MAJOR progress… I’m hoping we can keep it up! All in all it’s been very gentle, no crying, but has had a huge impact nonetheless. I only hope it’s not a fluke.

oh should also say that he’s been hungry at breakfast time for the first time ever so we’ve managed to increase his food intake as well as feeding as much milk as poss in the day.

Absolutely not mean at all - stupid post suggesting you are mean. He's 9months not 9 weeks
I have an 8.5 month old and she has one night feed and sleeps 11-12 hours a night with the one quick feed
I would say not getting anywhere enough sleep
My baby was so unsettled and naps were non existent until around 7 months ( 7 months of hellish sleep deprivation) she needed very little sleep and was so grizzly
Now she does 2-3 hours naps a day ( sleeps more now than new born ) and last night 13hrs in her cot at night
Bed 6:15 ( always been early to bed )
Fed 1:30
Awake 7:15
Since staying home for 5 days which was horrid as love going out daily I made sure I put her down for naps in her cot
Now 1.5 months later I put her down awake and she goes off
If I'm home all day one nap in am and one in afternoon - today she did 1hr30 and 1hr 40 and still ready for bed ( was 5:45 tonight) asleep by 6pm
I'd concentrate on getting day time naps sorted
I'd guarantee that he's over tired at night and waking for this reason

It's fine, he doesn't need milk overnight at that age, that's just madness!