Am I being too laid back with sleep?!

[drapingivy]

4 year old starts off in own bed but ends up in with us any time between 4-6 every night, goes straight back to sleep cuddled up to my husband and sleeps through until alarm goes off for school or as late as 9am on weekends. I co-slept with him for a year and then he went in his own room and then this sort of pattern ever since.

Currently co-sleeping with my second baby, husband and 4yo now go in spare room.

Should I be stricter? I've always had the attitude they're only little once and I want the cuddles. But sometimes I read threads and I worry I'm not doing the right thing.

3.5 year old and nearly 20 month old both find their way into our bed during the night. We could attempt moving them back, but don't want to risk waking the still sleeping baby, so we all share

Sounds perfect to me.

Sounds horrendous!

If EVERYONE is happy with this, then it's working for you. If not, that's another matter

Personally I wouldn't put up with it, but then again it's not my life. Only you can decide if it's "wrong" or not.

If it's working for you then carry on! I love co sleeping and feel a bit sad it's tapering off. Who cares what other people think? You're getting sleep so in my eyes you're winning 🙂

He won't be getting into your bed when he's 18. It's fine if everyone is happy with the arrangement.

For me it sounds good. Is everyone in your house happy with it? If he is sleeping in to 9 at the weekend I would be wondering if he is getting enough sleep during the week.

If it works for you, and you're happy with it why should you be stricter ? What is the aim?

I co slept with my eldest until she was 4. My middle DC until he was 4 but he still gets in with us 5/7 nights anytime after 12. Our youngest is almost 2 and we co sleep with him. We have a big enough bed. Everyone sleeps. We love waking up cuddling them. It works for us. I'm not concerned about changing it because of what other people think.

If everyone is happy with the arrangement, then keep doing it 🙂 Don't let other threads make you feel like you're doing it 'wrong'. People's circumstances, relationships, and personalities all play a part into why their way is 'right'. In reality, if it works for you and your family, you're doing it right!

It's completely up to you and your husband!

If you're happy with it then carry on. He won't want to do it forever.

If you get fed up, it's just a case of explaining that the rule has changed and then being consistent about changing it.

I'm firmly in the camp of co-sleep until it becomes too annoying. If it gets everyone more sleep then who's to complain?

It's really up to you. We had this for a while but ds2 is just so awful to share a bed with - he kicks and moves around too much etc - that we trained him out of it.

But if he had been nice to sleep with, we probably wouldn't have

Sounds perfect to me, we have a similar set up with DS3 🙂

This! If it works for you thats all that matters, for me personally it sounds awful

I’m in whatever camp gets me the most sleep, if he’s a nice cuddler I’d be in no hurry to change. If he was a wiggly kicker I’d probably get him staying in his own bed. Either way you’ll have to drag him out of his room once he’s a teenager!

It isn’t something I would be personally happy with, but that doesn’t really matter, because it’s not my situation and they’re not my children. If it is working for you and you’re happy with it, outside influences aside, then stick with it. That’s all that matters.

My 8 year wanders in most nights and gets in with me but I've been on my own since he was 2. I have a king size bed and still keep to 'my' side so the majority of the time I don't even realise he's there until I wake up and see his little head on the pillow 😊

Sounds good to me - our 20 month old goes to bed in his own room but always makes his way into our bed at some point during the night! The way we look at it they won’t want cuddles forever so might as well make the most of it while they do! If everyone is getting a good nights sleep I don’t see any problem 😊

Horrendous to sleep next to your children? Yikes

Sounds fine, my DS was doing the same with DH at 4 as we had a baby too. Now DD sleeps through generally and DS is 6 and sleeps mostly through in his own bed but if not will creep into our bed without disturbing anyone.

I was a nanny for a while and both children would get in to the parents bed in the night. It carried on until they were about 12.
It was fine, but both struggled to sleep alone, especially when life was hard. So the eldest massively struggled when she was at uni as she didn’t know how to self-soothe and get herself back to sleep. She had always gone in with her parents if needed. So it’s fine IME as long as you can also teach them to settled themselves without you, especially if you want them to have sleep overs or stay with relatives of friends as they get older.

I'd personally hate it, but if you all don't mind then I don't see the issue

If everyone is happy and this means getting the most sleep - then great. Not sure what else matters.

I would hate this but it's you doing it not me

Enjoy the cuddles! I sleep better with my 2.5 year old in the bed - in her own room I am on edge listening for her!

Yep, another one to say 'If it works, it works!'

Sleeping methods are such a passionate subject, everyone has strong opinions on it. I remember reading a thread on here that was basically full of people saying you need to put the 2 year old in bed, say good night and walk out and they should KNOW how to go to bed without you, and it made me feel like total shit because I knew DD wouldnt understand that and would get really upset.

Sleep is sleep! Get it however you can when they are young.