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Parenting

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Original poster

4 month old not sleeping and very fussy

5 replies

NewAmma · 01/04/2023 22:21

My 4 month old doesn't not nap for more than 10/15 mins during the day. At night I fall asleep with him on my breast.

We don't give him a dummy or wish a white noise machine as my husband is against this even when I've explained he is using me as a pacifier.
He is very fussy and will cry most of the day. He won't sit on a bouncer and is only happy if we walk him around the house which is very tiring. I can't get any housework done.

He feeds little and frequently just like a newborn. He is both BF and formula feed.

Can someone please help me?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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PritiPatelsMaker · 02/04/2023 10:52

We don't give him a dummy or wish a white noise machine as my husband is against this even when I've explained he is using me as a pacifier.

Sorry, what? Why does your H get a unilateral vote?

For practical advice, have a read of this on Tongue Tie to see if he had any symptoms.

Buy or hire a stretchy sling to see if he will settle in that. It will free up your hands so that you can do things like prepare lunch.

Get DH to fork out for a cleaner as you are now too busy.

And have a read of the No Cry Nap Solutionn*.

Good luck OP. It sounds as though you'll need it

Original poster

NewAmma · 02/04/2023 12:20

Hi
Thank you for your reply.

I had him checked at the doctors for tongue tie as he has so many symptoms and now looking at your list he has more - he felt under the tongue and said it is very mild and not something they treat especially as my baby is gaining weight (which I know is because of the formula).

My husband helps with the housework but I feel bad as he is at work all day.

I've ordered the book and really hope it will help.

OP posts:

monsteramunch · 02/04/2023 12:40

We don't give him a dummy or wish a white noise machine as my husband is against this even when I've explained he is using me as a pacifier.

Why does your husband get the deciding vote on this?

All choices should be discussed of course but why does he get to overrule you? Especially when you're the primary carer as he is at work?

Don't feel guilty he 'helps' with housework! You're both at work all day at the moment, him at the office and you at home with baby. He isn't 'helping' you he's contributing to the adulting in the home and baby is still brand new so has to be your focus more than ever.

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PritiPatelsMaker · 02/04/2023 13:44

If your baby has a lot of the symptoms of TT I'd consider getting it divided. Unfortunately many Doctors don't know what they are looking at when it comes to TT, never mind the donkeys it can cause.

Also agree with the PP. Your HV is not helping out", he's cooking meals for you, his DW who is busy looking after his Son. All adults should be keeping their own home clean and all parents should be doing a fair share of looking after their own DC.

DragonbornMum · 02/04/2023 14:58

Okay I get the dummy but why the white noise machine?

I didn't want one either because I didn't want him dependant on it, but I did introduce Ewan the Sheep around this age. He's been INVALUABLE. My son is 20 mo and (this week, as a test) we've ditched Ewan with zero protests, and his sleep is the same as before.

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