4 year old behaviour concern

[Sandals12]

My son is almost five and at his 2nd year of nursery. I'm getting frustrated at some if his behaviour. Some examples.

He refuses to take part in some nursery activities e.g singing, yoga even though the rest of the class do.

He loves doing or saying the opposite of what you want. For example if you say the baby isn't allowed on the wall as she could hurt herself, he'll say that's good if she hurts herself. This sort of thing is not always related to people getting hurt but anything that is considered wrong.

On top of that he will say no to a lot of requests, most of the time refuses to try and get dressed.

He's not totally out of control but often will speak back until I really shout, but then it's because he's afraid. But if I don't shout he just smirks and is cheeky. I have used time out which he does do but not always convenient.

Anybody have any experience of this or any advice. I'm dreading school starting next year.

It's the contrary fives!

Just ignore him completely and change the subject/do something else. Show him that he can have your attention for doing other things, the silly arguing gets nothing.

With refusal to get dressed, take him out in his PJ's/or don't take him out, whichever works for you. Let him suffer the consequences of his decisions.

I don't think there is particularly a problem with him not wanting to sing or do yoga. Both of those things are supposed to be for fun/wellbeing. It won't be fun if he's being forced to do against his will.

If I’m reading this correctly, your child is refusing to do as you ask or will do the opposite? Possibly, Pathological Demand Avoidance?
Try giving choices, choices were your objective will still be achieved but your child will believe they’ve made the decision.
“who will dress you, you or me?
“will you wear red socks or blue socks?”
”The baby isn’t allowed on the wall because she’ll hurt her knee or her head?”
etc
Also, have you spoke to nursery about your concerns?

Parent teacher meeting on Monday but no concerns raised by them. She says he doesn't have to sing or take part etc. I'm just wondering out if all the children why he's the one going against the grain. And concerned about school work, will he still think its a choice?!