Toddler won't stay sat on the potty - frightened/"it's not working!"

[nanodyne]

Last week we had an enforced nappy-free few days due to DS having horrible nappy rash. I got loads of great advice then, so hoping for a bit of help with this next bit!

He did one day absolutely perfectly, no mistakes asked for wiping when he pooed, I was amazed! But he's not managed it at all since, although is now getting upset when he goes in his nappy, so it's sort've the worst of both worlds. He's either saying he's scared of the potty, or he's sitting on it for half a second before leaping up and shouting "it's not working!"

I would just stop, but he's really keen (and as I said, upset when he goes in the nappy). The other day he held it for so long it just sort've exploded out of him and I've never seen such a big wee 🥲 I was wondering if you have any tips for getting him to stay sat down and feel a little less frightened of it. What worked for your little ones?

I used to read a story to them while the sat on the potty. Passed the time and helped them too relax.
Mr poo goes to poo Land is a good resource. It’s on the ERIC website

Just sit after getting up and after each meal ,a story is a good idea.

Bribing with a chocolate button. 🫣

Have you tried using the toilet?

A potty can be uncomfortable for many children as they're often too small.

Op, my son who is 3 was the exact same. ‘Not working’, ‘don’t like it’, or it was scary.
The problem was the potty. He didn’t like the potty.

I bought a toddler toilet seat/stool thing that I sit on the ‘big boy toilet’ - he likes to flush himself and see it all flush away. Still having some issues with 💩 but he is only 3 and he’ll get there. Ours was a trivial issue for DS and he couldn’t tell us anything (speech is slightly delayed), so it was guesswork. Maybe worth a try? So he’s copying mum/dad/siblings etc.

I now announce to DS when mummy is going to do a pee and he follows and does one too!

Thanks for the tips everyone, sorry I lost the thread for a while! We've tried bribes and stories without success, going to try the toilet seat next I think 🤞

Aww me and my son used to sing Tommy Thumb with all the finger action when he was sitting on the potty or toilet , or a short story . 🤗

Distraction? One of my boys is very distractible and hard to get to sit sometimes. He has one of those pop it toys that he only has on the potty. With my eldest she would sit but had difficulty letting go, and it was worse the longer she held it. We used to sing a song together (potty song!) and focus on breathing out to help her relax the muscles.

How old is he? Older than 2-2.5, it may be that the potty is physically uncomfortable as they are generally built with smaller toddlers in mind. Try a loo seat instead (but get a decent one that doesn't slide all over the place as if they feel insecure, you'll have a whole new problem).

Try any one of: chocolate button bribery (one for a try, two for actually doing something), blowing bubbles, party blowers, windmills (this is great as it relaxes the muscles so they can poo / wee), watching a favourite show on the iPad (more effective if this is a rare treat), story time / singing.
If he's old enough to understand, a sticker chart might help. Stickers for trying / sitting for more than a minute / weeing / pooing.

The fact that he can hold it is encouraging. He's definitely ready but may need help to get over the stubbornness!