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Parenting

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Original poster

We are the flakey football family! Advice needed

11 replies

Teachingteacher · 31/03/2023 07:24

I have a DS aged 4.5 who started football this year. I live in a foreign country (been here 10 years) and when we signed him up we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. It’s very different from back home.

Football training is 2xper week for 1hr30mins. The times of training are 5:30pm and 6pm. This means that in reality, we aren’t getting home until 7:30-8pm and DS isn’t in bed until well after that. His bedtime is normally 6:30-7pm (wakes at 6am).

He is so tired at training that he starts acting up, lying on the ground, being silly with the ball. They do all these complicated drills which I find age inappropriate for U-6 team, but all the other boys seem to be fine?

Anyway, we’ve slowly stopped going to football. Hardly ever do the Saturday matches. I feel so terrible because I want to be a team player and don’t want to be that flakey family. I bumped into one of the football parents in our street which I was walking baby DD, and he rather harshly questioned why we’re ‘never at football’.

I need some wisdom here. Do I just give up for this year and try again next year? Do I persist with it?

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Mummyboy1 · 31/03/2023 07:28

Definitely give it up for this year, but let the coach/ team know. Its clearly not working for your family, for your little one.

Talipesmum · 31/03/2023 07:29

Yes, it’s be much better to give up properly for a while until he’s a little older and more able to deal with it. Or, are there other clubs that are less intense? Sounds daft for children that young but I know some football clubs are like that.

SellFridges · 31/03/2023 07:31

If you can’t commit, you should give your place up. If it’s anything like the UK there will be another child waiting for the opportunity. It’s just not right for you at the moment. Only thing I’d say is be careful if you think you might not get a place a few years down the line.

That said, I’m not at all surprised a 4 year old can’t cope with that level of training. My DD’s team are just going to training twice a week and they’re teenagers. In England, kids aren’t allowed to play matches until under-7’s.

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WeeBitOfWoo · 31/03/2023 07:33

It sounds way too much for a 4 yr old.

My child is 14 and plays for an elite training academy for a premier league club and trains twice a week for 2 hours!

PolkaDotMankini · 31/03/2023 07:34

Quit (and tell the coach) for now. My DS hid under the benches to escape from football practice at your DS' age. We gave it up and waited until he asked to go back a couple of years later. He's now a very good player and loves it.

MaireadMcSweeney · 31/03/2023 07:34

Quit this team and find another one next year. This isn't normal for that age group and is down to the coach.

Kanaloa · 31/03/2023 07:34

He’s four years old and can’t cope with intensive football training that keeps him up late. Why torture your family over something which is supposed to be a fun after school activity? Take him out and spend the time and money doing something else that he enjoys.

Xrays · 31/03/2023 07:35

Does your child actually want to do it?? I’d only be bothering at all if it’s something they’re really enthusiastic about.

Mumdiva99 · 31/03/2023 07:37

Sorry if I've misunderstood where you are. In the UK typically at 4.5 they would do an hour on a weekend morning or afternoon. There would be no matches at that age. It's about having fun and learning skills.

Training twice a week???? Matches????? Way too much. Give it up for now.

Original poster

Teachingteacher · 31/03/2023 14:48

Thanks for the advice everyone. It’s good to hear that I’m not crazy, and that this level of training is too much for an U-6 team. I live in a football-mad country with a very strong national team, lots of players in the premier league etc. so I guess they just take it really seriously? Definitely different from the UK or where I’m from where it’s basically just fun kicking the ball around until about age 8-9.

I will speak with DH and we’ll decide how to speak to the coach about it.

OP posts:

kezzielea · 31/03/2023 14:55

I live in the Uk and this is the reason I stopped football for my ds. He did it in reception and it just seemed to be fun, once a week on a Saturday, but as soon as he got into year 1 (age 5/6) it was expected he went for training on Wednesday and Saturday and a match on Sunday. No way were we going to give up our family time for football all weekend. So it actually doesn't seem to be much better here, a shame as I do think it should just be fun at this age.

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