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Original poster

DD had first day at nursery and her reaction when I picked her up

23 replies

Lemonaade · 30/03/2023 18:52

Been joined to the hip pretty much with my DD since she’s been born and I return to work very soon and she started nursery today. She had her first full day and when I went to pick her up she didn’t seem excited or happy to see me at all. She had a great day as I saw photos they sent so I know she was very happy there so in that respect I’m relieved that she wasn’t upset and had a good day with the lovely staff and other babies.

but she didn’t even look at me. Like she was almost disappointed I came to pick her up.
Feeling a bit sad lol. Maybe she doesn’t like me that much lol.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 30/03/2023 18:59

Shows she is a secure well balanced dd! You are therefore doing a great job!

FusionChefGeoff · 30/03/2023 19:04

A secure attachment to their primary care giver allows them to be more independent as they KNOW you will be there when they need you.

You've done a brilliant job - well done!

Nonentity4 · 30/03/2023 19:06

My kids loved nursery, every holiday camp and residential holidays some kids just want to ✈️

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Starseeed · 30/03/2023 19:06

Lovely! Let yourself have a cry about it and enjoy your next time without her! Parenting is a constant process of letting go a little bit more and a little bit more.

pampermouse · 30/03/2023 19:07

Try not to worry OP, mine was like this as well for ages - she was just so tired by the end of the day that she didn't really react to me or dad! She always perked up once we got her home and gave her some food. It is upsetting for us as parents, but totally normal from what our nursery said.

ImaMumtoaboy · 30/03/2023 19:09

I remember when my ds started creche he was 2 and basically told me bye, bye when i dropped him off and when i collected him he refused to leave. This happened every day he went in which was 3 days a week and for the 2 years he was there. He loved it.
I was devastated but happy that he had no seperation issues. He was only ever with me being a sahm and i thought he would have had a hissy fit. Now age 11 he loves school and has a fit if he has to stay home when he is sick.
He will always tell me when he is uncomfortable somewhere and wants to leave.
Its a good sign..

JingleC · 30/03/2023 19:36

My DD started at 12 months and would cry when I arrived to collect her. Proper hysterical tears. I felt awful and couldn't work out if she was happy to see me or gutted I came back. It stopped eventually, but it was pretty rough initially! She's now a well adjusted 7yo.

bloodywhitecat · 30/03/2023 19:39

I am going to add to the voices saying it shows just how secure her attachment to you is and that is a good thing (but it still smarts a bit!).

Roselilly36 · 30/03/2023 19:40

Aww I can see why that hurt you OP. But honestly so much better that she is happy there. You can go to work without worrying. If it makes you feel better,
I knew somebody who’s child used to hide when they used to go to collect them 😂 children are so funny at times.

Slimjimtobe · 30/03/2023 19:41

Well you’ve done a brilliant job to raise a happy and secure child & it sounds like a great place so at least you have comfort in knowing that

you’re his hero and number one for sure though !!

Slimjimtobe · 30/03/2023 19:42

Her (sorry)

Newnamenewname109870 · 30/03/2023 19:42

If you’re that worried, I can tell you that mine started like that and then once he realised it was going to happen more than once, he would get hysterically upset. So it might change yet. 😂

Newnamenewname109870 · 30/03/2023 19:43

FusionChefGeoff · 30/03/2023 19:04

A secure attachment to their primary care giver allows them to be more independent as they KNOW you will be there when they need you.

You've done a brilliant job - well done!

I don’t think that’s completely fair as children go through different stages of separation anxiety. Doesn’t mean that they are not attached if they suddenly miss their mum.

mynameiscalypso · 30/03/2023 19:45

My DS frequently still tells me that he'd like to live at nursery and never wants to leave when I pick him up. Kids!

Hottoffeesauce · 30/03/2023 20:12

My daughter used to be playing outside when I picked her up from nursery and would literally run and get to the highest point on the climbing frame just so that I couldn't 'get' her to go home! I used to have to beg/coerce/threaten/bribe/whatever to get her to come home! The nursery staff must have been on the verge of calling social services! My daughter and I were close and loving - she just adored nursery! I was secretly happy that she loved nursery (her older sister did not enjoy it! ) but it hurt a tiny bit that she didn't miss me at all!

MGee123 · 30/03/2023 22:31

FusionChefGeoff · 30/03/2023 19:04

A secure attachment to their primary care giver allows them to be more independent as they KNOW you will be there when they need you.

You've done a brilliant job - well done!

This is a bit OTT. I'm sure you're doing a great job OP but separation anxiety peaks and wanes. It's great your daughter has coped well initially but be prepared you might have some ups and downs with it. Our daughter settled really quickly initially (7 months) and since then we've had the odd spell when she has become more anxious about being left. It's all perfectly normal and not really reflective of much other than their individual little personalities and development stages. Hope it continues to go smoothly for you.

WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 30/03/2023 22:34

FusionChefGeoff · 30/03/2023 19:04

A secure attachment to their primary care giver allows them to be more independent as they KNOW you will be there when they need you.

You've done a brilliant job - well done!

Nonsense.

saraclara · 30/03/2023 22:53

When my DD started with her childminder, when I came to pick her up she'd have a massive tantrum because she didnt want to come home! That REALLY made me feel good😂

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 30/03/2023 22:56

saraclara · 30/03/2023 22:53

When my DD started with her childminder, when I came to pick her up she'd have a massive tantrum because she didnt want to come home! That REALLY made me feel good😂

One of mine used to do that - the day she ran to the garden gate and tried to hold it shut whilst yelling “No Mummy! Go away Mummy! Playing - go back work!” still comes up regularly in this house and it was nearly 20 years ago.

Mariposista · 30/03/2023 23:23

saraclara · 30/03/2023 22:53

When my DD started with her childminder, when I came to pick her up she'd have a massive tantrum because she didnt want to come home! That REALLY made me feel good😂

Apparently when I started school I walked out, saw my mum and said (really loudly) ‘I’m not coming home with you’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I had a fantastic childhood- I just loved school 🤣

Kanaloa · 30/03/2023 23:27

Aww bless! I will say having worked in nurseries for years this often happens. For example, on the stay and play or the first day, the child will be all smiles and doesn’t even want to leave at home time because they’ve had so much fun. Then sometimes later when nursery is not such a novelty they are all happy to go home. One of mine used to try to run away from me when I came to get her, it was so embarrassing. But she only went two mornings a week, so I think she just had so much fun and she is still a very sociable and outgoing type of child. So maybe your child is the same and just had an amazing time!

CoodleMoodle · 30/03/2023 23:41

DD(9) used to throw a massive tantrum when it was time to leave preschool as well! She used to wail that she didn't want me, she wanted to stay at preschool, on and on all the way home... Then she'd be fine and happy to see me again, she just didn't like the transition of leaving something she was enjoying. It got better!

DS(4) was the opposite and used to get really excited when he saw me at pick up. He loved preschool as well but was slightly more resistant about going in the first place. Some days he'd cling, other days he'd barely look back. (DD never looked back!)

Now they both come out of school and I never know if I'm even going to get a smile, or if they're going to talk my ear off!

bananabread2000 · 31/03/2023 01:40

My 15 month old refuses to leave daycare until he gets the end of day snack because I come second to rice crackers 🙄

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