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Do I have any say in this situation?

5 replies

MNnoob · 30/03/2023 01:59

Hi everyone, I really don't like airing my dirty laundry on a public forum but I'm at a loss for what to do in this situation and I can't sleep...

Separated from my husband 9 months ago, we have an 8 year old son. Up until this evening we have been very amicable and co parenting well. He has a new girlfriend of around 8 weeks , he asked me if my son could meet her , I wasn't happy about it as seems very quick and it didn't help that I found out he had already told my son about her and meeting her before even talking to me. Obviously I was furious but we talked it through, to keep things calm for son and I gave him my blessing.

I've just found out (again, through my 8 year old son) he is not only allowing the new girlfriend to meet him but shes staying overnight the whole weekend with him , in our marital home.

I'm so upset , this is just screaming red flags to me and is just too much too soon. I've told my ex I'm not happy and he basically says - tough luck it's happening.

Where do I stand in this? Do I have any rights as his mother or do I just have to sit back and allow it to happen?

Sorry for the long post, not sure if anyone has any advice... I will be talking to a solicitor tomorrow as he now seems to think because I'm the one who moved out of the family home I've now got no rights to it and has basically moved her in.

Never thought it would get this messy, I'm devastated 😩

OP posts:
snitzelvoncrumb · 30/03/2023 02:04

I don’t know about rights. Is your son coping with the split? If not I would talk to your ex about the negative consequences for the new partner being associated with negative feelings if the child isn’t ready to accept a new person yet. If the child is coping well I wouldn’t worry about it.

Rtmhwales · 30/03/2023 02:08

No rights to who your son meets when he's with his father or who his father chooses to have stay in the marital home.

Are you sorting out the legalities on the home? Will it be sold? I'd see a solicitor about that and let go on the other issues since he legally isn't doing anything wrong there.

WandaWonder · 30/03/2023 02:52

You have no right same as your ex would have no right on who you get to meet your child

If your child has issues with it i would try and address it but I would seperate the 'I just have an issue just because' from there being an actual problem

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Autienotnautie · 30/03/2023 03:00

I'd really think about is this going to bother you or your son? If you genuinely believe it's in your sons best interests to wait/have a shorter visit explain why. And say you know his personal life is not your business etc Also point out at some point shoes will be on the other foot.

It is tough I went through the same, exdh met some one a few months after split. It didn't bother me in slightest but I did feel he brought her in to fast. Needless to say they didn't last but next time he moved a bit slower.

MNnoob · 30/03/2023 08:47

Thanks for all your responses, it's given me clarity on the situation how to move forward x

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