Teenage daughter has no friends

[Tdp123]

Not sure if I am looking for advice, or just sounding off, but my 15 year old daughter has no friends. For background, she is ND (has dyspraxia) but to a mild extent. She has always been on the edge of friendship groups but always had a few people to hang out with at school.

However, most weekends and holidays she messages everyone she knows to see if anyone want so to hang out but never gets replies. So, she either stays in her bedroom on her phone, or occasionally goes to her nana's house to back a cake with her.

It come to a bit of a head last night when i, it became apparent that a new girl at her school (who was expelled from her last school) who has threatened to beat her up and it excluding her from the loose group she does spend break times with and ii, our neighbour who she has walked to school with and hung out with at school for years has told her that she no longer wants anything to do with her.

We have contacted the school to ask them to deal with the bullying, and to ask that they resume counselling sessions, but it it heart breaking that we can't do more for her.

It's really difficult watching them struggle with friendships. The bullying absolutely isn't ok.

My DD14, also ND, also struggles massively with friendships. She has friends for a while and then, without fail, the friends drop her.

She's currently without friends again following a big fall out. Her social skills just aren't good enough to deal with teenage friendship.

I know it's always the stock answer but does your DD do out of school clubs at all? My DD does Scouts and she does really enjoy it. 2 hours of activity/socialising each week but with the support net of some adult supervision really helps her.

When will your DD be 16? A weekend job somewhere fun can help build friendships with a broader range of people/age groups.

It's very tough though. I know how you feel.

Thanks Lindy2 - really appreciate your comments. It's so hard to see, and there seems to be so little we can do to help.

She does not do any clubs - it all fell away during lockdown, and given her lack of confidence it will be a real struggle to get her to agree - likewise with a job (she'll be 16 next March). But we should persevere with this.

My god daughter is the same and what has changed for her is a Saturday job at the local cafe. It’s been the making of her.

That's great to hear Bunce. We will have to try to do the same.

My teen daughter was the same and I felt so sad for her. She hated the last year at school and didn't go to her prom. She is such a lovely girl but quiet and struggles socially. So I sympathise.

What changed for us was moving on to College and joining clubs there. She also started a part time job as a Lifeguard and loves it. A workplace expects respect and trust between colleagues which is a good basis for friendship. I hope things get better for you both.

I would recommend a Saturday job or/and clubs outside of the school circle. Does she have any hobbies or fancy trying something new? School is a very small place and it would do her good to have a wider perspective with different kids of kids her age. I feel for her, school is hard!