Will this affect our bond?

[tulipsandteacups]

My little girl is 6 months.

I work from home when my baby is sleeping and when she's awake, I am with her, playing etc.

I do her bath & bed most days. DP does it maybe 1 or 2 times a week.

I am just getting back into the gym and the only time I can go is at 630am, before partner leaves for work.

I like going at this time because i am an early bird anyway and it gets it done and out the way for the day.

However..... I have this niggling feeling that it might affect my baby, the fact I'm not there when she first wakes up at 7.

Of course daddy is there but shouldn't mummy be there when she first wakes????

Would you feel the same? Could this affect our bond? (Which at this point is incredibly strong)

No, you’re fine. Try not to over-think this stuff.

Go and enjoy yourself, bond between your child and you won't be affected at all only because she won't see your face first thing in the morning.

@Wasywasydoodah okay Thankyou x

It wouldn't worry me in the slightest, no. Your bond is made of the thousands of interactions you have with her, missing the odd moment will be meaningless in the ocean of them you have in a lifetime.

It's also healthy for both of you to have a range of experiences and strong relationships with others. You are still a person, just one who happens to be a parent.

@RightWhereINeedToBe this is true. I know I need to keep "myself"

@Rakszasa Thankyou

If I could give one piece of advice to new parents, that's what it would be - keep yourself. I don't know how well I did at that, and finding it later is causing a bit of turmoil really.

I went back to work when my eldest was three months old. I left way before he woke up.

He's almost 7 and thinks I'm the best thing in the world.

Whereas, I took almost a year off with my second child. I WFH so I'm always around now when he awakes. I've only had one night away from him in almost a year and a half... And he's all about his dad!

I didn't leave mine at all ever.... but it was lockdown 🤣

I'm sure it's fine!

Are you worried about the father’s bond if he’s not there when she first wakes? My dad worked a full time job and my mum stayed at home until I was at primary school. I’m so close to both of them.

My husband does all the bedtime routine, so he’s the last person our child sees when they go to bed. I’ve never even thought about it! Just thankful I have a great partnership and baby! If the parents are happy and the baby is happy - surely that’s the main thing. I try and parent the way I’d like my child to be when they have a baby.

I worried hugely about this sort of thing, it was all unnecessary really! The reality is (in my very limited experience of only my DTs) my being there constantly was draining for me, and once I had a bit of time to myself I was a much better mother to them because I felt like a woman again rather than ‘just’ their mother. They were fine, didn’t care whether I was there or not. I then panicked when they had zero separation anxiety about being away from me as they got a bit older, and a billion other random worries!

Their Dad was at work (shifts) a lot and they’ve got a fabulous bond with him. He’s never once mentioned a fear of them not bonding with him, I can’t help but feel that this is some bizarre expectation placed on women that they must never leave their child for a second which I don’t understand, but felt terrible about like I was doing something wrong.

I hope you enjoy your gym time 💐

Definitely fine, and I bet your DH loves that time with her. It’s so important to keep time for yourself for your well-being, it will make you a better parent

Probably fine, I have a DC that this would have been down right damaging for and trust me you knew about it.