From Potty to Toilet

[Lou2222]

Hi

Can anybody help, I am at a loss as to what to do next.
My 3.5 year old DD1 is weeing on her potty but will not go on the toilet. She will sit on it, on her princess seat, but will not wee.
My husband thinks there is no problem and my mother thinks i should hold her on the toilet until she goes and I just want to help her..
This is beginning to be a problem as she is being invited to other childrens houses and as all her friends go on the toilet I don't really want to turn up with a potty.
We are going on holiday at the weekend to Spain - I don't know if this would be a good opportunity to try out something new....Any ideas appreciated.
Thanks........By the way she is dry at night and will only poo in a Nappy (I know that needs sorting but would really like to get the wee issue sorted first)

Well, she's doing brilliantly if she's dry at night, so that's a good start!

I'm with your husband actually; I don't think it's a huge problem. It will come, with time.

From experience of a child who would not use the toilet for a poo for 18 months after she was dry in the day, I wouldn't recommend forcing the issue - either the potty or the pooing. Holding her onto the toilet just causes tension and upset, and you will end up in a power struggle that you just can't win. You may also end up causing issues with using the toilet - it becomes associated with negative feelings, so she's less likely to want to use it.

I would think that the fact all her other friends use the toilet could be helpful. Once she realises that they all do that, she may be more inclined to do so too. Don't be worried about taking the potty around to her friend's houses though. She has to go somewhere, and I can't imagine any other mother not wanting her using a potty in the house. Her friends won't bat an eyelind; at that age children are very accepting, and will take it all completely in their stride.

I'd just go with the flow. Let her use the potty until she's ready to make the transition to the toilet herself. You may find she chooses to wee in the toilet whilst still wanting a nappy to poo in - I'd go with the flow on that as well. Dd had major issues with using the toilet for a poo, and in the end the only thing that worked was relaxing, and letting her get on with it in her own time.

Thanks, I just need to relax more and not let her know that its getting to me!!

Definitely don't let her know it's getting to you. You will need the patience of a saint, but don't let her see your frustration. Partly because she'll pick up on it and think you are angry with her personally, and partly because your frustration is something she can, if she wants to, use against you! Once she gets the idea that she can use her bodily functions as a way to exercise power over you, you're lost!

Just try to relax and not worry too much about what other people will think. Your daughter is not the first child to still be using a potty at this age, and she won't be the last.