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Original poster

Sons new girlfriend

17 replies

Jen1279 · 27/03/2023 21:43

My son is 22 and has a new girlfriend and she keeps staying over for example 4-5 nights a week. We haven't really been introduced, she turns up goes to his room without even saying hello or bye when she does actually leave, they have loud sex during the day or early evening and she's now started leaving things at the house. Am I being unreasonable to think she shouldn't be staying round so much so early on in their relationship and that I don't want her staying round so much and maybe only at weekends?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 27/03/2023 21:46

Don't be a doormat, op. Tell your son the sleepovers are done and if he doesn't like it he is free to move out. Given how shockingly disrespectful he has been, I would be making zero allowances for him. This is your home, you need to feel comfortable in it.

DustyLee123 · 27/03/2023 21:49

Why on earth does your son think that’s acceptable ? She should have been introduced first, perhaps come round for tea.
Id be limiting the nights she can stay, if you’re happy for her to stay, and tell him to keep the noise down.
And I’d be encouraging him to move out.

TranielPratspliff · 27/03/2023 21:51

Oh FGS he's 22. He's old enough to move out and have loud sex with his girlfriend somewhere else. I'd be sending him on his way (I have a DS of a similar age who would not try to pull this stunt because he knows that it would be a non-starter).

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AmandaHoldensLips · 27/03/2023 21:52

That would be a big fat NO from me. Time for him to move out, or go elsewhere and GET A ROOM.

BeatriceFranklin · 27/03/2023 21:52

I never put up with this. Your children need to respect your home and you OP, it’s basic manners. Put ground rules in place NOW, your home isn’t a knocking shop.

orangetriangle · 27/03/2023 21:54

this is just completely disrespectful pleased not allow your son to treat you and your home like this

jennyfromtheshop · 27/03/2023 22:00

Ugh that is piss poor from both of them. How utterly disrespectful to treat your home like that and not even have the courtesy to say hello. Put your foot down for gods sake op. 22 is way too old to be bringing surly girlfriends home to mums box room.

Bananalanacake · 27/03/2023 22:07

I'm hoping he works and by living with you he's been able to save, maybe it's time they rented a place together

LakeTiticaca · 27/03/2023 22:09

Why are they having loud sex through the day? Don't they work?

Eatentoomanyroses · 27/03/2023 22:10

No way would I put up with that

Original poster
Jen1279 · 27/03/2023 22:31

Thanks for the advice all, they work but as soon as he gets home she's straight over and at weekends whilst I'm doing housework I've heard them having their fun, I know it's natural but you would think considering she's a guest in our house she would have more respect and now I'm already starting to dislike her. I just think it's too much and that she should only stay at weekends. My husband keeps saying well he's 22 so what can you do but it's still our home and I personally don't want someone staying during the week when we barely know her and she hasn't even bothered to try and get to know us in our own home.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 27/03/2023 23:03

Your son is so disrespectful, and this young woman is a rude cow. I would put an immediate stop to this nonsense. Your home is not his shag pad. I'm astounded you haven't confronted him about this already.

TomatoSandwiches · 27/03/2023 23:03

You need to be angry with your son, he is the one inviting her over, you don't know what he has said about interacting with you all so stop getting the huff with her.

Talk to your son, this is your house, he doesn't to have people over if you don't like it, tell him when he can have her over and make sure he knows how obnoxious loud sex is when others are in the house.

Newusernameaug · 27/03/2023 23:12

Goodness I can’t believe what I’m reading!

I’m a single mum to a 19 yr old son.
He’s had many girlfriends and friends who are girls stay over, and we’ve never had any problems because these are the house rules around it.

  • ask if someone can stay beforehand
  • introduce them
  • join in dinner / washing up etc
  • when I let him know I’m going to sleep then must be silence

I’ve never needed to say, but if I heard him having sex, I’d let him know after and say I’d expect better from him and that next time I hear I’d let him know at the time and ruin his moment!
That’s a compete no-go and I wouldn’t accept it from my child.

Don’t be afraid to have standards and boundaries, house rules and expectations.

Ragwort · 27/03/2023 23:14

So disrespectful but you are really being a doormat... I have a 22 year old DS and he wouldn't dream of behaving like that. Make it absolutely clear to your DS what is or isn't acceptable and if he doesn't like it he can get a flat share.

Newusernameaug · 27/03/2023 23:14

Oh and I would t allow anyone to stay more than 3 nights per week - never more than half the week as that’s more than the majority of their week and it’s not their home!
So it’s another simple rule:

No more than half the week / 3 days

HappyMe6 · 24/07/2023 12:17

Why are you allowing this! He doesn’t sound as if he has any respect for you and nor does she. That wouldn’t ever happen in our house,

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