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Mum life is hard work

56 replies

Usedtobechilled · 27/03/2023 19:08

LO is almost 16 weeks and entertaining him is EXHAUSTING.
He currently sleeps great at night so im absolutely not complaining however he doesn't nap for long during the day so daytime is constant entertainment. Every 2 hours is like ground hog day. Wake up, feed, play with every toy, music, singing, talking, sleep for 20 mins... rinse and repeat. From 8 til 8pm.
I've been on 2 walks today just to break it up. I walked in the pouring rain the other day just to get out. I don't even get to do housework really (probably should be thankful for that...)
Thats it really. I just wanted a moan 😂

OP posts:
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Dinosaurus86 · 27/03/2023 19:50

My baby was like this too. I never got to watch any box sets!! He was too “alert” practically from the moment of birth. But it has got easier as he’s become more mobile and more able to play with toys by himself, so there is hope. He always loved swimming, so that might be a good one, though a bit of a faff changing etc

CastleTower · 27/03/2023 19:52

I had one like this - was always a bit mystified at the other chilled babies tbh, smiling calmly and then drifting off to sleep or staring around. It does get better once they have crawling/standing/walking to occupy them, in my experience! Gross motor skill practice keeps them busy. That said, now she's 3.5 and still wants constant entertainment...

Her younger brother is ridiculously chilled, so I know it's not me 🤷‍♀️

VivaVivaa · 27/03/2023 19:53

Usedtobechilled · 27/03/2023 19:42

I have started to drop pumps because I was exclusively pumping. Today is day 1 of 4 pumps a day so I'm hoping each day will now not be so centered around pump times..
Going to take the advice too to try and do a group every day 😊
Honestly, hats off to you all, especially the ones with multiples! Absolutely one and done here 😂

You couldn’t have paid me to have another baby at 4-5 months it was such a Groundhog Day. I now have a 3 yo and I’m pregnant with number 2. I’m doing it again mostly because I’ve loved the toddler years so much. Having one is a totally fine choice, but please believe me when I say it won’t be this bad forever! Id like one of those ‘happy to cuddle on your lap in front of the TV’ types of babies next but not hoping too much!

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Goldbar · 27/03/2023 19:54

Pumping is hard work.

I try to get all the chores done while baby is awake so any nap time (my baby also doesn't nap much) is my time. Even if it means singing "This is the way we unload the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher" ten thousand times to my bemused baby as she lies on the kitchen floor.

People are right... this is easy compared with what lies ahead (I'm on baby no 2). My advice would be get a baby gaol playpen or use a room divider to make a safe space if you can.

Usedtobechilled · 27/03/2023 19:56

I appreciate people saying they had similar babies/experiences. When all you want is a suggestion or 2 to make life a bit easier or mums to say itll get easoer, other mums saying their baby wasnt like that isn't helpful. Lucky u that your baby was entertained by the washing machine, mine isn't. I'm a first time mum, I already question everything I do!
Also, question re swimming, my babies poo is still liquidy. How do swimming nappies deal with that or do they not? I have the fear that he goes in the pool and its just yellow liquid surrounding us 😂

OP posts:
xSilverandcoldx · 27/03/2023 19:58

I went to groups pretty much every morning, or did something like going swimming, or got someone to come round for a coffee. In the afternoon I did a walk with her in the pram and listening to music.

I also found having a sling helped as at least I had my hands free. I used to watch TV while walking around the living room with her in it.

My second was much more chilled, but I do wonder if this is because she was entertained by what her big sister was toddling about doing. Thank God as it was lockdown and playgroup was no longer an option!

VivaVivaa · 27/03/2023 19:59

People are right... this is easy compared with what lies ahead (I'm on baby no 2)

Im only 3 and a bit years in, but I can safely say nothing so far has been as bad or as hard as circa 4 months old. It’s got exponentially easier in fact.

Reinventinganna · 27/03/2023 20:09

@Usedtobechilled you could use a disposable swim nappy with a reusable one over the top although I can’t remember mine ever leaking in the pool.

Does he like the sling? I did everything with mine strapped to me until they were around two, it was the only way that I could do anything.

Betsyboo87 · 27/03/2023 20:12

VivaVivaa · 27/03/2023 19:59

People are right... this is easy compared with what lies ahead (I'm on baby no 2)

Im only 3 and a bit years in, but I can safely say nothing so far has been as bad or as hard as circa 4 months old. It’s got exponentially easier in fact.

Completely agree. My first is coming up 3yrs and is so much more interactive now. I get so much more from him than I did in the first months.

I think we all enjoy different stages as it depends on the type of baby you have but also what you find challenging. I am terrible on lack of sleep and I am rubbish at just sitting around so I was never going go find the first months easy. My toddler has tantrums, is stubborn and is a huge procrastinator but none of these things bother me at all so it’s a much easier stage.

PotterofGryfindor · 27/03/2023 20:19

Dropping a pump will help, you have done so well to get this far, fine to reduce if you want to.
I echo what most people have said, get out of the house so baby is entertained by the world rather than it all falling in you. 4 months is old enough for swimming, toddlers, music groups, baby sensory and of course the bog standard toddler groups.
Also do try to get some bits done with him in a sling or baby seat. You can still sing/ interact whilst sorting laundry etc
Once they can sit up in a high chair it is easier to give them something messy to play with while you do jobs.
Also as they get a bit older they do tend to link up their daytime sleeps into two decent length naps.

SareBear87 · 27/03/2023 20:19

Mine won't sit still either. I just have to baby group her into tiredness.
All the other babies in my NCT group are happy to be left in the baby gym for 20-30 mins or in a bouncer but mine will have none of it!
It is utterly exhausting- I feel your pain
The only thing I find that helps is a set routine and lots of baby groups!

Mordenmum85 · 27/03/2023 20:20

You’re doing amazing. Seek help when you need and just keep swimming

PutYourShoesOnWereLate · 27/03/2023 20:21

jobadoo · 27/03/2023 19:47

honestly I thought your thread was about teenagers or toddler tantrums when I saw the title... Enjoy this time, truly bliss compared to what lies ahead...(lots of more bliss still to come don't worry!)

This is not true for everyone. I would take half a dozen toddlers over DD at 4 months.

Wallywobbles · 27/03/2023 20:22

Just get on with your day. Watching you is the entertainment. A walk and a bath. Jobs a good'un.

Morningcoffeeview · 27/03/2023 20:23

PutYourShoesOnWereLate · 27/03/2023 20:21

This is not true for everyone. I would take half a dozen toddlers over DD at 4 months.

My second baby I could have managed ten of! My first one was a challenge and I had no idea it wasn’t that demanding for everyone until I had no.2 and spent days making apple pies and cakes!

anon666 · 27/03/2023 20:24

Oh bless you. ❤️ It gets so much easier xx

scott2609 · 27/03/2023 20:27

I too had a baby like yours. I still roll my eyes when I see people saying that babies of that age simply don’t need entertaining and that it’s the perfect time to enjoy box sets, or to do some bloody gardening, or read, or do anything you want really while your baby sits in their bouncer, or lies on the floor on their play mat, or to slowly potter about with them in the sling on a day out.

I know there are babies like that, but their parents rarely seem to realise how good they’ve got it!

My son screamed his lungs off with genuine fury if we weren’t out and about with a constantly changing scene, walking at a fair speed.

I genuinely spent months 2-9 of his life walking around with him outside either in the sling forward facing or in the pram (for the brief periods he would tolerate it) the entire day. I was averaging 20,000 steps a day on about four hours broken sleep overnight and it was hideous.

Oh, he hated classes too until he was about 6 months. He'd scream and scream, and I would feel like such a failure seeing these placid, smiley little babies kicking around and then falling asleep in their Mummy’s arms.

I cannot emphasise how much easier and more enjoyable it’s been since he became older and therefore more mobile. That just seemed to almost immediately chill him out, and we can now spend the whole day at home playing if I want.

There’s really nothing I can advise you other than to know there are others out there who absolutely understand where you’re coming from, and who realise how bloody hard it is. Hang on in there, and just do whatever it takes for you to stay sane.

somethingslastforever · 27/03/2023 20:28

notthisagainforest · 27/03/2023 19:23

Did you think having children would be easy ?

Unnecessary comment Hmm

To be honest OP, my SIL was very similar with her DD who now at almost 5 can't amuse herself for longer than 5 minutes. At 4 months I didn't sit have to occupy my LO every waking hour of the day, tummy time, play mat, teething toys etc worked fine. I'd encourage him to not need you to stimulate him constantly. I'm sure it's absolutely draining for you!

Squirma · 27/03/2023 20:30

Super Simple Songs on YouTube. I don't care about the hate for screen time. Gave me 5 mins to myself. Theyre in nursery now, started at 6 months, was absolutely dreading putting them in, now I dread they days they doesn't go in.

orangesky1 · 27/03/2023 20:33

the sling saved me! I would leave the house for the day with the sling and a backpack nappy bag, and just try and stay as busy as possible. Baby loved watching the world go by and chatting as we went around. We would stop for feeds in cafes/benches/ in the car. I could not handle more than half a day in the house, it drove both of us crazy!

VivaVivaa · 27/03/2023 20:36

@scott2609 just a little post of solidarity as I genuinely could have been reading my experience there, word for word. At least by the end of maternity leave I was supremely thin 🙄it boils my blood when new mothers with more challenging babies are made to feel like shit parents because they aren’t baking and gardening and going to museums. It was the main driving factor in my PND to be honest.

Usedtobechilled · 27/03/2023 20:37

scott2609 · 27/03/2023 20:27

I too had a baby like yours. I still roll my eyes when I see people saying that babies of that age simply don’t need entertaining and that it’s the perfect time to enjoy box sets, or to do some bloody gardening, or read, or do anything you want really while your baby sits in their bouncer, or lies on the floor on their play mat, or to slowly potter about with them in the sling on a day out.

I know there are babies like that, but their parents rarely seem to realise how good they’ve got it!

My son screamed his lungs off with genuine fury if we weren’t out and about with a constantly changing scene, walking at a fair speed.

I genuinely spent months 2-9 of his life walking around with him outside either in the sling forward facing or in the pram (for the brief periods he would tolerate it) the entire day. I was averaging 20,000 steps a day on about four hours broken sleep overnight and it was hideous.

Oh, he hated classes too until he was about 6 months. He'd scream and scream, and I would feel like such a failure seeing these placid, smiley little babies kicking around and then falling asleep in their Mummy’s arms.

I cannot emphasise how much easier and more enjoyable it’s been since he became older and therefore more mobile. That just seemed to almost immediately chill him out, and we can now spend the whole day at home playing if I want.

There’s really nothing I can advise you other than to know there are others out there who absolutely understand where you’re coming from, and who realise how bloody hard it is. Hang on in there, and just do whatever it takes for you to stay sane.

This! Thank you. I was hoping the older he gets the slightly easier it might get so thank you for giving me hope 😂
Like I said I know how lucky I am, my road here wasn't exactly an easy one, everyone just needs a moan once in a while right?

OP posts:
scott2609 · 27/03/2023 20:44

Thank you @VivaVivaa! I think I was somewhat lucky in that I knew one other Mum who had a similar baby, so we could always complain together about how awful it was!

@Usedtobechilled it really will get better for you. It could be tomorrow, it could be ten months from now, but your baby will change and they’ll start to learn and do so much that it’ll make the challenging times feel more worthwhile. You moan away as much as you want until then! I did used to find it very therapeutic and less lonely searching for ‘difficult baby’ type threads on here when things felt truly dire.

CastleTower · 28/03/2023 04:40

Some babies don't particularly like being babies, that's my theory! They want to be up and moving and doing their own thing.

I'm another one who thinks it only gets easier from here. People who think the baby stage is the easiest had a different kind of baby.

sjxoxo · 28/03/2023 04:47

It is hard and op I fear at only 16 weeks it will get harder in places!! It’s a marathon not a sprint… you’ve got a long road ahead so enjoy the little things and pace yourself! X

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