Finding having 2 kids so hard!!

[Blueyfan1234]

I have a 3 yr old and a 10 week old, and I’m finding it so hard! I feel like when I have the both of them they both have a bad day - my 9 week old will only really nap on me and doesn’t always settle in sling so ends up doing 10/15 min cat naps and ends up unsettled. Baby is also EBF (won’t take bottle/dummy) and seems to snack feed a lot so when I go out somewhere I can’t always play with 3 yr old and they then get upset/stroppy etc! I think 3 yr old is also struggling with the transition still, seeing lots more difficult behaviour :(

I just feel like I’m doing a terrible job and am honestly knackered - did anyone else feel this way? When did you find it got easier? Any tips on days with the 2 of them?

I have a 2.5 year old and 3 year old (4 in June). I felt just like you in the early days, I actually found the shift from 1-2 as hard as 0-1, if not harder.

Personally, I couldn't stay in the house and still don't really enjoy it now with both of them. I had a double pram as mine were close in age and we did lots of walking, park, stopping for coffee.

Do you have any small soft play areas where your 3 year old can go without you, so you can sit with baby, have a coffee and just be out the house? I also kept DD1 in childcare for a couple of days a week which really helped. Assuming your 3 year old has funding soon, could they join a preschool so they get a chance to play with other children and you have a break/time with baby alone?

It does get easier as their routines start to align, but I do still find 2 tough. However, when they play and chat together it all feels worth it. DD2 has recently started DD1's preschool and apparently they really look out for each other and play nicely. So just save all their bickering for me clearly!

It is exhausting and relentless, but your baby is very young still. A few more months and you'll be in the swing of it, I remember that feeling of 'what have I done' well after having my second but I promise it passes.

My husband warned me (he had Teo older kids) that going firm one to two and a not double the work, but quadruple. And I concur!

I had a baby and a 3yo. The first months were really hard. Preschool saved me. And a sling. And the TV. Other than that honestly it's just about gritting your teeth and getting through this very tricky period.

Ours are now nearly 6 and 2 and they disappear for hours at a time on weekends just playing together. DP and I actually get to have a coffee and talk to each other! I feel like this is my reward for all the days I ran myself ragged trying to meet both of their needs like a madwoman, (particularly the day the 3yo pissed on our bedroom floor in pure rage at me while the newborn was howling for a feed. Good times.)

Hang on in there.

I've been there and sorry you are finding it a struggle! I know how hard those times and 1.5 year in with two, I still find it hard some days but so much easier than the early days. Three years between my two and like yours my youngest would not settle anywhere other than on me. I found being out and about so much easier than being in the house and the sling literally saved me! I used to dread being alone with them because I didn't think I could manage keeping them both happy but now It is much easier. I found 6 months a big turning point. Hang in there, it does get easier xx

Hi OP. I feel you! I have a 3 year old and 8 week old.
My 3 year old only goes to nursery one day a week at the moment (this is increasing next month thank goodness). So at the minute, I have them both with me 6 days a week. It's bloody tough.
I rely on the sling as the youngest doesn't sleep for long stretches unless he's in the sling or in my arms.

I have found that the days we have gone out and out are easier as I'm not worrying about the babies naps or how to keep the eldest occupied. But getting out of the house with the two of them is a task in itself 😂

Just wanted to show you some solidarity seeing as our babies are similar ages!

I have a 2.5 yr old and an 11 week old and it is hard. I find that getting out and about as much as possible really helps and lessens the meltdowns. I also do find a sling absolutely essential and honestly would find it a nightmare without it. Have you tried a few different slings or carriers? Perhaps try a sling library?