AIBU to make my son pay this money back?

[Tryintoparent]

Discovered our youngest DS, age 8, money had gone missing from his money box (£120)
After much questioning and threats of ‘having to involve the police’ because money had been stolen from our house, our eldest DS, age 12 eventually admitted he had been taking it and buying sweets on the way to school!
He had also spent £180 of his own money without our knowledge…. All on sweets over the space of a few months!

We have told eldest DS that he needs to pay his brother back but realistically we don’t know how.
We have threatened to take the money out of what we would spend on his birthday but I don’t know if I could handle the guilt of that!
AIBU to take it out of his birthday fund?

any suggestions on how to deal with this would be really appreciated!

we’ve actually just started giving him £5 a week so that he has some way to pay his brother back. Questioning if that is the right thing to do?

So you're basically just paying your younger kid back yourselves? That's a silly idea and not teaching him anything.

I would make him earn it back by chores, but they need to be additional chores, not simple ones that were already (hopefully) expected of him. So if he has always been asked to empty the dishwasher for eg, don't start paying him for that. It needs to be extra, and harder. Like washing the car, or cleaning the whole bathroom, just anything that you wouldn't normally expect of him.

Your oldest son is 100% being extorted, I would involve the school again. The 'selling sweets' is to give the bully plausible deniability

I can't believe so many people want you to punish your son for being bullied.

He's twelve years old and he needs to feel you have his back. Of course it's not right to steal but he probably felt he had no way out. I'd be feeling terrible that my son didn't feel confident enough to bring something so serious to me.

Bullying is an awful thing to experience. My first instinct wouldn't be how to punish him, it would be how to make him understand that there are better ways to deal with situations than to give into bullies. I would explain that to my younger son too. I'd have asked him what the best way would be to pay the money back rather than impose something on him.

Poor lad. I hope he's okay.

Honestly I think he other kids might be taking advantage of him??? I know he's trying to fit in but they might be taking advantage of him by the ridiculous prices?? Hope he is okay