Help with no sleep please

[Nosleeptheo]

Hi all I am desperate for some help with my 7 almost 8 month old not sleeping.

I have two dc, dc1 (4years old )is an amazing sleeper and always has been however dc2 (7 months old) is not. Yet again iv been up since early hours of the morning today been worse 2:30. He's usually wake at 3:45, and I just can't cope anymore to the point I'm currently in tears writing this.

I'm due to back to work in a few weeks and will be starting at 6am and have to leave my house at 4:30am. Do will be at nursery 2 days a week and childcare sorted for the other days that's not my issue. I just don't know how I'm going to cope tbh.

Here is his current typical routine if anyone can help me with so he sleeps more please do.

Wakes up 3:45 has 6oz bottle
Nap for 20 mins about 8am with another 6 oz
Breakfast when he wakes up from his nap
Play time (tummy, bouncer etc)
Another 6 oz bottle at some point
Nap 10am about 1 hour
Snack and Play time
Lunch and pudding with a 6oz bottle
Play time
Nap 3pm for about 30 mins 6oz bottle
Play time
Tea and pudding (usually about 4 ish)
Play time
Snack
Bath about 6ish
Bed for 7 at the latest depends how long it takes him to fall asleep with a 6oz bottle
10.30 6oz bottle of milk
2.30am I make a 4 oz bottle but he usually only has about 2-3oz

He also has water through out the day, kicks off with out the bottles like he's never been fed has water throughout the day aswell.

I just don't know what to do, and at breaking point.

OP I've been there and it's hell so I'm offering solidarity. I'm just trying to understand his overnight schedule does he wake up 10.30pm ish, 2.30am ish and then up for the day at 3.45am?

Your routine is a bit all over the place. He's getting under 11 hours of sleep a day when most need 13-14 at this age, so he's overtired. At this age some need 2 naps and some need 3. They are usually awake 2.5-3 hours in between sleeps. They also don't need feeding overnight at 8 months, and he is having a lot of milk when he should be sleeping.

I would increase the amount of food and milk you're giving him in the daytime and cut down to one bottle overnight (you might have a few tough days but I would stand firm). And I would aim to cut the bottle out completely at night sometime after that once his daytime appetite picks up.

Will he not go back to sleep at all at 3.45? If not I would get him down for another sleep at 5.30/6 for 1-1.5 hours, then start your day when he wakes up from that

So awake 7
Breakfast/bottle 7.30
Nap 9.00 - 9.30
Lunch 11.30
Nap 12.00 - 13.30
Nap 16.00 - 16.30
Tea 17.00
Bathtime 18.30
Bed 19/19.30

You might find after a while once he's caught up on sleep properly that he can drop to 2 naps. Ages when they do this vary quite a lot.

He seems to be having a lot of bottles. Will he take more oz instead of doing so many maybe?

My daughter is 6.5months and this is her schedule just to compare.
6.30am awake
7.30-8am 7oz bottle - I never feed as soon as they wake as long as she's happy enough as have toddler to sort out too.
9.00 baby porridge
9.45 - naps for 1-2 hours
12.00- puree yoghurt melty sticks fruit etc for lunch. (In reality not much get swallowed at this stage so sometimes needs 5oz milk too)
1.45ish- nap for 1-2 hours.
3.45 - 7oz bottle
5pm - some kind of smashed up food 😅
No more naps after the previous one and she will be desperate for sleep as I never let them sleep past 4.30 if I want a 7pm bed time.
7.00 - 7oz bottle and bed

This is all based on if we stayed in the house and she napped in the cot. Could be a few smaller naps if we were out.
I do think I am out of the norm as I haven't given a bottle between 7pm and 7am since she was 10 weeks old and it was the same for both my kids.

Also sleep environment, white noise and pitch black has always worked for my 2. I always put them in the cot too to associate it with sleep (don't know if this is a thing 🤣)

Hope you manage to sort something soon. Lack of sleep is a total killer. Do they cry when they are waking you at 3.45? If not I'd be tempted to ignore them, ie don't pick them up etc just leave them see what happened.

I think bedtime is too early. I think if you could push bedtime back you might get longer naps and a later start to the day. Agreed that more overall sleep is needed as PP says.

What does he eat? That's a lot of milk and overnight feeds which suggests perhaps he needs more calories during the day.

Thank you all so much, in regards to making more oz in his bottles he doesn't finish them have tried this especially the bed time bottle. He also doesn't sleep I can fight over an hour trying to get him asleep, iv tired him on me, going for a walk, in the car and in the cot. Most of the time he's not grumpy with it but is fussy. At sleep time I make sure the room is as dark as possible (not bedroom door as had to take it off to fit his cot in the room) and his has a otter thing that plays white noise etc

With food the kid eats me out of house and home already lol not sure what else to add so if you have any idea please let me know

For breakfast he will have a large bowl of blueberry porridge and then toast with other dc

Lunch full ouch of savory (Ella's kitchen seems to be his favourite ATM especially the chicken dinner ones) pouch of fruit and also sold food that his brother has so yesterday was rainbow trout prawns and potatoes

Tea again same set up as lunch

Snacks throughout the day are veggi straws, fresh fruit, melt sticks, cucumber etc

Bed time snack iv tried giving a bit of porridge thinking it's thicker and may settle him longer but had no difference

When he wakes up during the night he has the bottles and doesn't stop screaming until he does . It's just so hard, thank you again for the advise definitely going to give a few things a try. He is a very active baby I think he should pass some of his energy over to me, currently on my 7th cup of strong coffee and 2 can of energy drink just to try and stay awake. Luckily dc is still I'm bed ATM and he probably won't wake up until 9.30

It sounds like he eats well OP! Maybe add things like nut butter in porridge, avocado, hummus etc to try and get more calories in. Otherwise you might need to go cold turkey with at least one of the night bottles. Will be awful, but I'm not sure what else you could do. Unless you think there's any chance he could have silent reflux? Or any allergies?

Will defo try the hummus not something we eat as none of us like it and the nuts are next on my allergy list to try with him. In regards to allergy so far nothing and don't think is cmpa as dc1 had that and it was horrendous before we got it under control thankfully he's out grown it to an extent (can't have to much in one day). Iv spoken to my dp and said that we should get the 10:30 bottle in him as that one is manageable and try and skip the early hours one and if anything just give him a bit of water instead. Also did a lot more active play before bed today and he did go of a lot easier so fingers crossed I'm not in for another early hours of the morning, would be happy with 5:30 at this rate will feel like a massive lie in. Dp has also said he will do the 10.30 bottle and the early hours one so I can try and get some sleep tonight. Will just have to wait as his cot is on myside of the bed unfortunately. Thank you again for the support I really do appreciate it

Good luck OP!

Update and dp failed last night apparently I looked to peaceful sleeping so he just gave him milk again early hours of the morning 😫 told him I'm doing the nights now and he can do the morning as 1 I need a lie in and 2 I'm more stubborn then him and won't give in

Snack’s aren’t recommended until 12 months old. 6oz are small bottle sizes. Is he draining the bottle, if yes you need to be offering more milk.

I agree with a PP, I think you need to go cold turkey on an overnight bottle. It's short term pain. But once you drop it for one night, don't give it again.

Also, more sleep in the day. That's not enough, need that longer 90-160 mins nap. Have you tried the huckleberry app (just the free version) I found it really helpful for awake times.

Unfortunately he doesn't drink the while 6oz usually leaves about 1/2 an oz and refuses anymore. In regards to naps he just doesn't sleep iv never had to wake him up and also struggle to get him to sleep sometimes it can take me an hour to get him off on me defo going cold turkey tonight dp to much of a softy

Once you cut back the night milk, he should up his day milk naturally

Fingers crossed so far since 4 this morning he's had a 45 min nap and won't go down for one which is annoying at dc1 has decided today is a grumpy day ready just to go sit in my car for a few hours while dp deals with them

Big update theo slept all night last night woop woop. He even refused the 10.30 bottle so dp tried him at 1.30 and he refused that. We have also found he has broken a tooth at Sompting during the night and has 3 more white patches on his others. He has refused his bed time bottle today (fell asleep in the bath after 2 toddler playing with him). So going to try and get a big one down him at 10.30 if he doesn't wake up sooner. Hoping this is the start to an amazing full night's sleep again