Completely overwhelmed with two young children

[buttongalore]

Hi ladies

I feel utterly terrible for even writing this post but I feel so alone and clearly not thinking straight half the time. I have a 3.5 year old DD and a 8 month old DS baby and these past few months have been so so hard. I don’t know how to divide my attention between my toddler and my baby. I was getting some help from my DH whilst he was WFH but now he’s in the office and I’m sinking deeper. My toddler just doesn’t listen to me, no matter if I ask nicely or not. Everything is a tantrum and crying at the top of her lungs where I just want to disappear. On top of that I’m dealing with my baby and trying my best to give organic food to him plus sort out dinners and also battling with my health (recently been told I have trigeminal neuralgia). I get these intense electric shocks in my eye and this only started since the birth of my first child so I’m assuming it’s stress related.

On a day to day basis I just roam around tending to one kid to the next in my dressing gown. Some days I can’t even shower. I haven’t had my hair cut in over a year. I’m just consumed in motherhood and I keep thinking about will I ever be able to work again. I feel like I have to watch them 24/7 because there’s times she will hit the baby and he cries in distress. I don’t want to constantly tell her off because she’s also my baby and is dying for my attention. I sometimes wonder is this PND but at the same time I get angry with myself for even thinking how can you be depressed when you have everything you ever asked for. I am so tired

Im struggling

Bring the bouncer into the bathroom with you if you're worried? They'll enjoy it.

No way could I find the time to make 3x fresh meals just for my little one each day plus all the other jobs/meals etc. Cut yourself some slack. Batch cook in the evening and freeze in small portions. I usually have ice cube trays full of cooked/puréed veg - pop one or two out when you need them and into the microwave for a minute 👍🏻 Or just usual bags of frozen veg is fine too.

Eventually move to your baby eating the same as everyone else (or a slightly adapted version).

you say dd is in nursery 3x per week, so is your dh around for 2 of the other 4 days a week if so you can tag team then.

batch cooking definitely when you can, freeze meals by portion flat in freezer bags then simply defrost when needed.

always overcook - eg if making mashed potatoes always make extra and freeze portions. Same with spag Bol and the like. You can combine the two when defrosted to make a pie as a change from using as a pasta sauce.

try and make a couple of things routine for you - eg always showering on nursery days and at weekends, baby groups

Put them in nursery and get back to work, if only part time.
I'm surprised you've lasted this long feeling like this.
I had a similar age gap and lasted four months.

There's a book called "coping with two" by 2 female authors- one of them was Simone something. I found it genuinely helpful at your stage!

I remember those days - they are hard!!! I agree with PP about getting out. Baby in sling or pushchair and toddler walking, scooting or buggyboard to local park. The walk there, a short play and walk back will fill some time. Or playgroups in church halls - a change of scene will mentally do you all good and there are always lovely helpers who will make you a cuppa and hold the baby.
You should also just all eat the same thing - it's rubbish having unsalted food and adding it at the table, but it's far more rubbish cooking different things! Eg you can all have porridge sweetened with banana for breakfast, jacket potatoes with butter, cheese and veg/salad for lunch and rice and curry for dinner (add chilli at table). Keep it simple.
Every Saturday you have a lie in and every Sunday DH (or vice versa). When my kids were little it was a looooong lie in each and possibly the highlight of my week

I have a 2 and a half year old and a 8 week old and finding life so difficult at the moment . Partner is working all day and doesn't get home until 8/9 pm some nights. He's wrecked when he gets in and I'm wrecked from being at home all day. We have no time to ourselves cause we have to lie with our 2 and a half year old until he falls asleep which is so late some nights and the baby is crying downstairs so someone has to stay down. Any tips for getting them off to sleep on their own or just earlier even? By the time that's so done I have to tackle cleaning up and getting bottles washed and sterilised. Ugh it's so hard honestly going from 1-2 is waaaay harder than 0-1 and anyone who tell you different obviously has alot of help at home . Sorry I just needed to rant