struggling to toilet train almost 4yo son

[weightstrugglinmum]

Any help/advice/supportive words would be most welcome. He was doing brilliantly until about three weeks ago but is now showing absolutely no interest in this, total regression, and says no pretty much every time I suggest using the potty. He has had chickenpox and this seems to have thrown a complete spanner in his progress. If he's engaged and wants to, he's been getting on brilliantly. But we're back to sqaure one now. Feeling so much pressure from the school because he starts full time in September, and feeling like a failure because my oldest son was also late to toliet train, so definitely feeling like a crap mum.

How long ago was the chicken pox @weightstrugglinmum?

If he's only just got over CP then I'd back off for a bit OP - even if it's just a couple of weeks. Could you try again over the Easter holidays? You've got time to sort this - there's almost six months between now and starting school in Sept.

Surely an almost 4yo is too big for a potty? Can you give it the big boy line and get him using the toilet?

Following / in exactly the same boat even down to the chicken pox!
He was doing ok with wees on the toilet but not poo and now seems to have given up with both

Don't worry our 4 year old refuses to poo in the toilet. Only in a nappy!!! We'll tackle it before school but not too worried at the moment.

My 4yr old would only poo in a nappy so we got in a routine of him doing one each evening.

He then randomly went on the toilet and has been fine ever since!

No judgement but I'm quite surprised people saying - "oh you have lot of time until September". It might take AGES, 5-6 months might be not enough.
We had veeeery long journey with our potty training but honestly, in most cases it's not a child...
Parents usually giving up because they are too busy.
It's quite easy to potty train but it's very difficult to make your child "independent" - wiping his but, asking for toilet at nursery /school , etc. He might find his potty and happy do everything at home but it will be completely different story if you are at park/someone's house, nursery, school, etc.

Agree, with 4year old I would start with toilet, not potty.

No wonder he doesn't want a potty, he's not a baby! At 4 he can and should use the adult toilet; far more private and dignified.

Thanks everyone for the feedback, and yes I should have mentioned, he much prefers the toilet and was doing excellent on it with wees and poos, asking to use it for both.

The chickenpox was about three weeks ago and there's also been a cold since, he's definitely not been himself, and thats also shown itself by the regression. I don't want to get complacent and think we have alot of time before he starts school, because time goes so quick, its just abit disheartening when we hit a blip and I'm feeling the pressure a bit.

I'd ease off a little. If he's been that unwell try him with some calpol and I wouldn't worry about putting him back in nappies for a couple of weeks and trying again in April when it's warmer.

Thank you

My four year old has been trained since 2.5 but still likes to use the potty sometimes. The vessel really isn’t an issue, so long as it’s not pants who cares whether it’s toilet or potty. Let the child chose.

My son had a poo regression not long after training and he loved the Eric poo goes to Pooland app (it’s an NHS one) it really motivated him. Something to try?