how to cut down or even stop breastfeeding

[lavenderlilaclily]

Hi, looking for advice for cutting down on breastfeeding.
My son is 14 months and absolutely obsessed with the boob. He wants to breastfeed all the time and is constantly whinging and pulling at my top. The second he sees me he just runs up and pulls at my top. I feel like just a pair of breasts and nothing else at this point. It's about 6-10x a day atm and that's not counting the night feeds. I have loved the connection from breastfeeding but recently it's rare that it feels like a nice cuddle and it's just too much, I'm exhausted. He eats 3 meals a day and sometimes a snack and eats really well - to be honest he's very big for his age and it's probably because he's eating like a toddler but breastfeeding like a newborn! So I know it's mostly a comfort and habit thing. And while I don't want to be horrible and take his comfort away, equally my comfort is important too!

I don't necessarily need to stop 100% (but would be quite happy with that tbh), happy to leave a morning a night feed for example as I know it's good for him, but it just needs to change. I don't know how though! I've tried distracting him, offering him water, offering him cow's milk, offering him a snack...9/10 times it does not work and he cries until he is breastfed. It's really frustrating as my mum friends who also breastfed seem to have had a really smooth ride of weaning their babies off while I'm still walking around with a huge baby constantly attached to my nipple.
He used to take a bottle from my partner but now flat out refuses a bottle or cup of breastmilk, cow's milk, water or anything. If I go out for the evening he just doesn't drink anything! He's at nursery one day a week and just has some water there, refuses any milk or anything like that. But also he doesn't complain or get upset about it and he eats all his food, so he's obviously fine without it!

Sorry, that was long! the gist is: how do I wean my boob obsessed 14 month old off the boob!?

I remember exactly how you feel. My first easily cut down to feeding just morning and evening but DC2 just wanted to always BF.

Thus article from Kellymom might help you with how you feel about him feeling.

Have you thought about trying some gentle night weaning? It might help you to cope with the days a little better.

I completely understand, DD was like this, it was just relentless and once I became pregnant again I just couldn't cope and felt so touched out. DD was 19 months so not sure if your son is too young for this but every-time she asked for boob I told her milk was all gone and we could have a cuddle instead. I didn't know if she'd understand but she did. She was upset for a few minutes then settled with a cuddle.

Had one night where she still woke hourly asking for boob but would go back to sleep with a cuddle and every now and then she'd ask in the day but was fine when I said no.

It went so much better than I thought it would

@PritiPatelsMaker that kellymom article is good to read, thank you.
With the night weaning, I had read that article and did try a version of that strategy to try to gently wean him (though I didn't follow the article to a T I have to say)...it kind of worked insofar as he definitely wakes less at night now and feeds less than he did say a month or so ago. But we weren't able to fully night wean.

I BF DD past 2 years, under total duress. I wanted to stop long before that, but she was incredibly persistent. In the end, it took a will of iron, continually telling her I'd run out - sorry all finished - and my partner taking over most of the caregiving for a while just to snap her out of it. Sorry, it's a bloody nightmare!

Try night weaning first but it's ok to say no occasionally too.

We did phase it down to one feed a day first though by distracting her with other things.

@MrNook thanks for your reply. It's nice that there are people who understand!!
That's promising that it went better than you thought it would. And it seems like a nice way of doing it. But yes, I'm not sure my son would understand quite yet. Also I think his understanding of "cuddle" is to breastfeed. I've asked him before if he wants a cuddle, for example when he's fallen over or when's he's been grumpy or something, and his reaction is to come straight over and lift my top. So maybe I need to teach him to cuddle?!😅
It's also nice to know you managed to get pregnant despite all the breastfeeding - we'd like to try for another soon but I feel like there's no way I can possibly be fertile when he's breastfeeding so much