Difficult toddler

[Milkand2sugarsplease]

DS2 is hard work!! That could be the end of the thread. Everything is hard work with him.

He's 22m and has been difficult from the get go. Crying and screaming A LOT from birth. DS1 was similar and grew out of it between 18m & 2 years but DS2 doesn't seem anywhere near improving.

If we take him out to a group/cafe/park etc, he literally takes you by the hand to leave after 5 minutes - or tantrums if he can't leave.
When at home he's bored. Will play with toys sometimes but very needy of someone with him - less so with dad but has to be touching me the majority of the time so that hinders play. With me, his go to is to bring books to me to flick through one after the other until he's got through them all.

He eats well, pretty much anything, but demands food a lot!! He's dairy free as cows milk exacerbates the grumpiness, presumably because of pain because he has awful wind when he's had dairy.

Needs lots of sleep - sleeps well overnight, occasionally shouts out in the night but settles well again. Still needs a good nap in the afternoon and is worse without it. Up to 13/14m was still sleeping like a newborn and couldn't be awake more than 90mins, he's now down to one afternoon nap a day but cannot cope without it.

Speech seems slow to be coming. We've been noting down words he knows and we're only up to about 20/25. Doesn't "use" words like mummy and daddy yet either.
No interest in colours or numbers - I'm not expecting him to reel them off but there's literally no interest.

Receptive communication is great, we can speak in sentences and he can follow instructions, though can choose not to, as any toddler will at times.

He's just generally grumpy most/all of the time. DS1 improved with the development of walking and talking so I'm assuming it's the lack of talking that's stopping ds2 coming out the other side.

Days out are hard work because he hates the car seat, pram, trike etc - gates being in anything. Little legs get tired so you end up with the dilemma of tired legs but wont tolerate the pram.

I'm really at a loss as to what to do now, we used to go to a baby group on a Monday but I've not been for a couple of weeks now because he's literally opening the door to leave after 10/15 mins but then doesn't want to go in the car on leaving...

Not even sure what I'm asking here - just some ideas of things to try I guess.

Have you spoken to the GP? Sleeping like a newborn up until 13/14m seems really unusual.

We saw the gp several times about various things and mentioned it at all of those appointments but they were never concerned about it, and since then he's dropped his sleep to the realms of normal for his age.

What do you do when he is doing this screaming ? The toddler group scenario is interesting in that he cries to go but then also cries to go In the car. This seems to me like he is having you on to be honest. As long as he can't get out the door then I would walk away and ignore it Toddlers know what buttons to push and it's often just attention seeking. Try ignoring them lots of attention when he is being good

We've stayed at the group a good few times and he just creates the rest of the time we're there. I've ignored it and let him create for a bit (believe me I'm think skinned and ignored all the stares). I've tried picking him up and holding him, I've tried redirecting him to toys, I've taken him to the outdoor play bit to see if a different room helps. He literally just takes me straight back to the door or, if I refuse to go, screams blue murder.

But it is everywhere we go - play group, play centres, cafes, there's a pub near us that has a children's toy area, he's the same wherever we are, indoors or out.

For want of a better way of putting it, he seems to get no enjoyment out of anything we try or anywhere we go.

Sealife centre was the best we've managed but even that was more tolerated than enjoyed.

I’d speak to your HV it doesn’t sound normal behaviour at all. Have you done the mchat test?

I have done it actually, but after 20+ years as a SEN teacher in a school for children with Autism and challenging behaviour I know how inaccurate it can be.

Hi! Basically going through the same thing - did you see any improvement? Or any advice? Not sure where to turn thanks!

Stumbled on this from a year ago and curious - how is your son getting on?