I am similar to you in being diagnosed late and being high functioning.
I have found parenting fine on my own terms. My husband is very passive which works well for me needing to micromanage things, although I am coping better at allowing things to happen and trusting the process more.
I fun it difficult to support my children socially - don’t get on with many mums, find it hard to communicate constructively with teachers, hard to participate in community etc
I have three children aged 7-9 and they are all equally remarkable and dysfunctional in different ways.
One of my children is very much like me. Wise, self assured, confident, her way or no way, brutal, manipulative, confused, intuitive, caring.
Another is effortlessly academically smart but very lazy and zero common sense. Quite sociable on the surface but she is actually has acute social anxiety, low self esteem and is spiteful as a result.
My third is inarticulate and slow to process. Too affectionate and severe mood swings between giddy and suicidal. Incredibly intelligent, determined, ingenious, logical.
Are any of them with ASD and/or ADHD? I don’t know but I’m not sure it makes any difference anyway. They’re all high functioning - more functioning than many without ASD.
No one cares of they aren’t what they seem as long as what they seem is socially acceptable.