"He's such an easy baby!"

[Purplebluetiles]

Hey everyone,

This seems like a really first world problem even as I'm typing it but it's making me lose my mind. My partners mum is constantly telling people that our baby is good as gold, she doesn't even know he's there, we're so lucky with him etc. I don't really like the term 'easy' or 'cross' baby anyway-I feel like it kinda gives way to a narrative that people with 'easy' babies have no right to feel tired or worn out.. The thing is this is getting me down because while he will sleep and is content some of the time, he has bad colic and is quite upset and difficult to settle the rest of the time. I'm not complaining as I'm so lucky to have him and love him to bits, but it makes me feel as though maybe he is really really easy and I'm a bad mum for finding it difficult at times 😓 I do all the nights by myself as my partner has to be up so early for work, and it's making me feel as though I don't have to work hard with him even though the reality is I nearly wet myself twice today because I didn't get a chance to go to the bathroom! 😓

She is just being a proud grandmother. Saying he is an easy baby is just something to say, its a compliment to your exhausting effort that he is seen as calm, settled and happy. It doesn't mean that you have it easy.

I had an ‘easy’ baby. Everyone told me how blessed I was. How lucky I was. I couldn’t understand how I was finding it so tiring when everyone else thought he was a dream.
Then I had my second and I realised what they were talking about! I really did have it easier on my first than my second. Like a different world. A million times harder.
My third was back to easier again but I was still knackered but not as much as on my second if that makes sense.

I think motherhood is hard no matter how ‘easy’ or ‘hard’ people perceive your baby to be. Particularly in the first six months with your first, your whole life has changed!

My 18 month old has just gone down to only waking twice a night, prior to the last couple of weeks he would wake on average every 2hrs since birth. I have multiple friends who get more sleep than me, some get more sleep even with two children, but I wouldn’t say they have it any easier than me - parenting is exhausting no matter how much sleep you are getting.

I totally understand not having time to wee, in those first few months it felt awful to leave a crying baby to tend to yourself but as long as they are safe, you should make sure you make time to eat/drink/use the toilet.

@Flittingaboutagain fact, I feel like she didn't have anyone breathing down her neck with her babies so why can't she let me do things my way 😅

@F1nit0 so true haha!! So easy when you can hand them back 😅

@WeekendInTheBoondocks honestly I feel like this needs to be spoken about more openly! We put so much thought into what we need to do what baby needs and that's mentally tiring too 💕

@Februaryschild2023 this is something that really hits home with me, I'm sorry you went through that! I have suffered with both in the past and was worried post natal depression would strike at any moment 😓 it hasn't as of yet but I'm always thinking about how awful I'd feel if depression struck and I was finding my 'easy' baby difficult 😅 it definitely wouldn't help things mentally!

@Whooyou my partner says she doesn't mean anything by it and she is supportive in other ways, but she just oversteps so much like he has a bit of sticky eye and it's a little bit red from cleaning so she'll ask me very firmly: what happened to his eye? Boss me around about how he should be lying, ask me how I know he's getting enough to eat when I'm bf... there's 100 more examples🤣

@Sweetestp exactly my thinking, I don't know where this idea has come from that only good babies sleep through the night!

@Cherry2456 and the one time she did take him a while she was annoyed when we got stuck in traffic and we're back a bit later than expected 😅

@Joeylove88 I resonate so much with this, in the moments he's asleep there seems to be never ending washing that needs to be done, sterilising breast pumps and cleaning bottles, going through clothes he's grown out of and just general maintenance in keeping things nice and organised. It really is like there's always something in the back of your mind telling you there's still something that needs doing 💕

@rattlinbog 100%! Experiencing it first hand has made me so aware of how it actually feels to hear someone say that! Like I haven't even had a chance to shower but yep, such an easy baby how could I possibly be having to work this hard 🙈

@atthebottomofthehill such gaslighting oh my goodness! I have the added perk of her cooing "is mummy keeping you from me all day?" To my baby 🤣🤣

@Newyeardietstartstomorrow she definitely is super proud and I feel bad complaining because she's good to him, she kind of talks about him as if it's all his own accord though it's hard to explain.

@Spangasspikeywig I definitely know where you're coming from, I don't even know how to feel though because my own mum looked after him for a while the other day and she said he reminds of her of my brother who was a cross baby. So I don't know why she's fabricated this idea that he's the best baby ever 🤭

@Pastaf0rbreakfast oh for sure, there are so many ins and outs to it all and so many circumstances that come into play with little ones 😊 thanks so much, I'm definitely getting better at realising he'll be ok in a safe space if I need to use the bathroom lol 💕