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How to increase education outcomes of unmotivated middle of the road tween?

4 replies

forloves · 20/03/2023 10:47

Hi all. Schoolwork doesn't come easily to my 10 yr old, and she's also very unmotivated and not at all curious or interested in learning. We've always joked that she's 'away with the fairies'. She's artistic and we are helping her nurture that, as it's the only thing she shows any interest in.

She's always been listed as 'at the expected level' but I fear the gap is now widening between her and others in the class. We are completing maths SATs tests weekly and she's getting around 25 / 40. A lot of her class seem to be getting 35+ / 40.

I would love it if I could just leave her be, but given the cost of living I'm so conscious that it's even more important than ever to get a higher earning job, and I worry for kids who aren't naturally academic. Trust me, I know that's not the only route to financial success, but it's a good foundation. I don't want to regret not helping her more through the school years.

Have any of you had a kid like this and taken steps which have enabled them to achieve very good results at GCSE and A-level? How much would you push a child like this and what steps weekly would you take to do so? I just have no idea how on earth to approach this. I was the child who was top of the class at everything without even trying. And I wanted to succeed, was competitive and determined. My parents had almost zero input into my schooling and never sat with me to do homework or encourage revision. I directed my own learning right through to completing a degree. I'm at a loss as to what to do for her. I don't want to make her feel that I'm criticising her and affect her self esteem.

Help!!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
DefinitelyRizzo · 20/03/2023 10:53

What has led you to saying she is away with the fairies? Such phrasing could indicate autism or ADHD for a start so it's worth reading up on those things to see if there are any issues that have been overlooked.

forloves · 20/03/2023 10:59

I'm reading up on those extensively, and we may indeed seek an assessment soon. She's very quiet, doesn't tend to verbalise her thoughts or feelings, and would happily spend a lot of time alone, so long as she had tv or iPad :( But then there are quite a lot of traits that don't fit her, so it's difficult to tell.

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BertieBotts · 20/03/2023 11:16

Have a look at the book Smart But Scattered, it has ideas for supporting the kinds of skills which help with this.

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forloves · 20/03/2023 17:48

Wow that book looks incredible, thank you!

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