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Bedtime battles - desperate!

7 replies

Anonymouslyposting · 19/03/2023 20:58

Hi all, I’m after some advice on getting my 2.5 year old to go to bed without screaming the house down every night!

She was an awful sleeper for the first year of her life (6-8 wakings every night, fed to sleep etc.) but she seemed to click when we moved her into her own room at 11.5 months. Since then she has generally slept through like a dream. Putting her to bed has never been super quick but recently it has turned into a nightmare.

Her routine is up at 7:30, when she’s at home she’s in her cot for a nap around 1-3pm (she doesn’t sleep all that time, I’d say she gets around 1.5 hours sleep), when she’s at nursery the nap is more 12:30-2. She goes upstairs for a bath at around 7 then stories, a cuddle and into her cot around 7:45.

For the last 1.5 hours she has been screaming and screaming. DH and I have taken it in turns to be in her room with her (he’s still in there while I’m feeding our 6 week old). She’s trying every delaying tactic in the book (wants whichever one of us isn’t there, wants a story, doesn’t want a story, wants us to sing to her, doesn’t want us to sing to her, wants milk, just wants a “little cuddle”, needs a different blanket, needs a different toy etc.) Today is particularly bad but she’s been like this every night for the last 2-2.5 months.

I’m hoping it’s just a phase but if anyone has any ideas of what could help I’d be very, very grateful!

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Pammela · 19/03/2023 21:02

This sounds tough!

I think the new baby will be playing a part in it- it’s a big adjustment..but I’m sure you’re aware of that.
That is still quite a decent nap
for her age, so I’d probably cut it down to 45-60 mins. By 3, lost children have pretty much stopped napping and there’s a tapering towards that. I would wake my daughter after about 40 mins but ended up dropping the nap altogether about 2/3 months before she turned 3.

Hazelnuttella · 19/03/2023 21:05

I’d agree that new baby is probably playing a part.

Also that is quite a long nap, and quite late in the day. Only 4 hrs 45 mins between waking up from nap and going to bed, so she may not be tired enough to fall asleep easily.

Would it be possible to do the nap a bit earlier in the day? We do lunch quite early at 11.30 and then 12pm nap.

DragonbornMum · 19/03/2023 21:09

Another vote for she wants attention due to the new baby. It will pass.

I would consider dropping the nap if you think she will tolerate it. She's getting to that age and may genuinely not be tired at bedtime

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whoactuallyreallycares · 19/03/2023 21:11

My 2.5 year old is the same with the delaying tactics at the min!

Anonymouslyposting · 19/03/2023 21:14

She seems to have been tolerating the new baby’s arrival very well but it makes sense that she’s having a reaction - particularly as she knows he’s still downstairs with us while she’s being sent to bed!

We’ll have a go at shortening the nap, I think really I knew it’s too long at her age, it’s just so lovely having a break in the day that we’ve been lazy letting her sleep.

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OhMelville · 02/01/2024 20:57

Hi OP, how are you getting on? Followed your thread with interest as I’m in a very similar position currently, and beyond pulling my hair out!!

Anonymouslyposting · 03/01/2024 22:00

So much better! It was an awful phase but we are through it now. She still wants “one more story” and for us to sit with her for “five more minutes” but the screaming has completely stopped and bedtime is much quicker now.

Changing the length of her nap didn’t seem to make any difference and , at 3, she’s now still napping around 1.5 hours at lunchtime - she just got over it in her own time.

Good luck!

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