Should I be worried that my dc only say I love you to me once in a blue moon??????

[MilaMae]

They are 4 and 3,have started noticing others kids saying it when being dropped off at pre-school etc or just out of the blue.

Mine just don't, I have twin boys and a dd.Do you think this is normal???? I always say it at bedtime without fail and give loads of kisses and cuddles throughout the day and say I love you when appropriate but probably not as often as others. My boys are starting to give me "whatever" looks when I say it is it is.

DP and I have been together nearly 20 years so mushy talk between us is obviously not high on the agenda. I really don't want to drag it out of the dc but might have to as I'm starting to get jealous of other mums !!!!!!

Now don't all tell me your dc trill it out on an hourly basis

Nope. My mum never said it to me so I have to make a real effort to say it to my dcs it sounds really weird to me. But I cuddle and kiss them all the time. As a result they don't often say it but I get lots of hugs and they say lots of other nice things.

Reassuring thanks So how old are yours and what do they say????

My dd said it at school drop off, bedtime etc etc, but was physically undemonstrative (not into cuddling etc). She stopped saying it when she got to about age 9.

Ds, otoh, is very physical, loads of kissing, cuddling, hugs, unprompted displays of affection, yet has only said I love you a handful of times ever. He is 5.

I know they both love me. They just show their affection in different ways I guess.

Milamae
They are 4 (just) and 2.5. Ds, the eldest, just says 'I missed you today mummy', 'I really like you mummy', 'you look lovely today mummy' etc etc but the best thing is when he is having a cuddle at bedtime he just goes 'mummy, mummy' and snuggles in, beaming! I don't need the exact words. Dd I don't think has ever said it but she is even more bonded to me than he is I think. Don't worry about it!

I get the occasional "I love you" from DS1 and DS2 - but most of the time it's "I really like you mummy" "you're a nice mummy" from DS1 (and DS2 simply copies).

My ds who's 4 days it all the time, completely at random or instead of saying "thank you". But dd, who's 7, has never really been one for saying it.

However I know they love me, they don't have to say it. Just as dh doesn't have to tell me much either, I just know. It's sweet when they do, but if they do it all the time like ds it's a bit overkill. However if they only say it once in a blue moon then you know they really do mean it and it isn't just trilled out.

Who cares what other kids do? These kids are yours, they are not like other kids and you should accept them for who they are and not for who you want them to be. You know they love you, they shouldn't have to tell you.

You're right Rhubarb which is why I never drag it out of them. I totally accept them as they are and wouldn't want them any different. DD likes to snuffle my nose like a rabbit at bedtime and asks for a big hug. The twins like a cuddle at bedtime and sometimes launch them selves into my lap, hold my hand etc but that's pretty much it.

One of the boys is pushing the boundaries at the moment and I just feel we end up having to be so negative a lot of the time. Am worried they just think I'm a nagbag and are not being overly affectionate as a result.

I'm a SAHM but seem to be enjoying very little quality time at the mo with them, generally clearing up etc(buggar all house work)get very little time playing with them almost zero then spend loads of time having to dish out the discipline. I have noticed on the mornings dd and I have to ourself and I've been less stressed she's far more affectionate.

They're all pretty much the same age so get zero time with me on their own and never have done, worried about not ever having 1 to 1 time with them. I guess I'm just doubting my parenting skills a bit at the moment so worried, PMT too.