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Guilt over scaring my child’s face (accidental)

33 replies

jamie94 · 18/03/2023 23:32

When my son was one we were on the sofa together. He was a bit wobbly so I went to catch him and he landed on my hand, my nail caught the side of his face and scratched him badly. When he went to nursery he had a little fall and re scratched the scab. About a year later he got sick and developed a circular scab underneath the scar scratch.

He is now 6 and I can still see both scars on his face, especially when his cheeks are red it is so obvious. I have spent a fortune on brands like Kelo Cote, suncream, etc. For the last 2 years the scars have not faded at all.

I can’t shift the guilt, every single day I feel bad for what’s happened. When I look at him inside my head I just feel insanely guilty. I find myself researching future treatments for hours some days. He isn’t aware of it but I know one day he will be and that I am the one to blame because the scratch scar is the biggest and most noticeable one. It feels like I have disfigured him across his cheek.

Does anyone have any advice for the scar and are aware of how I can fix it when he is old enough for eg laser? And has anyone else experienced anything similar? How do you deal with the guilt? I keep replaying what happened in my head and I try so hard to not let it get to me because I don’t want to ruin these special years feeling so guilty.

Guilt over scaring my child’s face (accidental)
Guilt over scaring my child’s face (accidental)
OP posts:

smellyflowers · 19/03/2023 08:54

Whiteroomjoy · 19/03/2023 07:42

We do get precious about our babies and children bodies and keeping them in perfect condition
But when they get to 21 they fuck it all up with trip to tattoo parlour 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣

I think this is the crux of it


Lcb123 · 19/03/2023 08:57

You really can barely see it. for his sake please don’t make a thing of it-you stopped anything further harm by catching him. Don’t give him any reason to be conscious of it. Scars fade over time, most kids / people have them.


BrainOnFire · 19/03/2023 08:58

I have several childhood scars (including one on my face) and they don't bother me one little bit. Try to stop fretting about this OP. I think you've got into the habit of worrying about it so your brain automatically goes down this familiar pathways - find a book about breaking habits / changing mindsets.


LancashireSquirrel · 19/03/2023 09:01

Haven't you posted about this several times before, OP?

With kindness, please relax and read the wonderful advice you've received on here.


glitterisntgendered · 19/03/2023 09:47

Honestly this is your anxiety, he absolutely won't care that he has a scar that he got cos his mum loves him and was stopping him falling on his head.
DS has a similar scar from another child at nursery, kids will end up with scars - no one will notice and when they do it'll only be part of the "what cool scars have you got" discussion. It's fine, honestly it is, this is just mum guilt- I get it really badly too but learn to manage that rather than the scar


reelcat · 19/03/2023 19:13

I have a few scars on my face and I love them. Each one is a mini story that makes me me. They do fade over time but please, please stop blaming yourself 💐


MasterCherry · 20/03/2023 23:54

My beautiful 5yo still has a scar right in the middle of her forehead from falling over as a tiny toddler. We always joked that it was from where her unicorn horn fell off, but in fact we think of it and mention it less and less now, even though it's still there. It's ok.


Sunnyday14558 · 02/04/2023 23:13

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