Dealing with children’s dad

[Amber1984]

My ex and I have two children. 18 and 15.
the 15 year old has SEN and is very tricky to parent. It’s exhausting and at times just plain hard work.
her dad doesn’t do anything with her. He doesn’t really communicate with her or see her. She will even say ‘he does nothing for me’
I do absolutely everything for her- and that’s ok as I’m mum and I don’t begrudge it. However, I do sometimes ask her to ask him for money IF I have already given her money for food, snacks etc when she’s out with her friends. I do all the driving, lifts etc. So on occasions I will say ask your dad for a few quid- literally a fiver here and there.
now it’s quite tense between her and her dad as he is very strict on her and can be quite nasty with things he says. She feels it and avoids him at times. It’s difficult to handle as I have already mentioned she has special needs.
he has told me to stop telling her to ask for money, because she’s not directly taking to him, he won’t give her a penny.
i am struggling to be ok with this.
Please can anyone help me to understand this situation because I’m tired and unsure if I’m being unreasonable feeling so pent up by it.
she’s just a child and is feeling rejected by him as he doesn’t bother with her. Am I wrong to be angry?

Are you claiming child maintenance?

And you’re not wrong to feel angry.

You are wrong to ask her to ask money from him if it ends up affecting their relationship and her feeling rejected.
He sounds like a piece of work, but you know this and need to navigate it to make it easier for you daughter

You are not wrong to feel angry, it sounds very frustrating

He gives me some money but it’s not what it should be. He earns more now than he did when it was set up.

Her asking for money is not what cause her pain. It’s his lack of involvement in her life in general. I always thought it should be equal in regards to a mum and dad and what they provide. But it’s very one sided.