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Original poster

Would you feel guilty?

8 replies

TomAllenWife · 18/03/2023 17:14

I'm divorced (10 years)
Been with DP 5 years
I've got DC 19 & 14

DP is generous, we enjoy a lot of holidays when the dc go to their fathers. Sometimes they'll go there for longer if we're on a longer trip.
Equally I'm happy to do the same for ExH although he doesn't go away much

Anyway last night DP said 'fuck it let's go away this week'
The DCs have a long week at their dads this week anyway (weds-sun)

They're both moody about this and consistently complain about how many hols we go on without them.

For context, dc this year have had one long haul holiday with me, a city break, and family holiday booked for new year (paid for by DP).
They will also go away with their father.
I work for the NHS so not got fancy job at all.

Would you feel bad? Guilty?
I've done years of family holidays and feel like it's my time now, I enjoy the peace when me & DP go on our adult trips

OP posts:
Summer2424 · 18/03/2023 17:40

Hi @TomAllenWife i'd be so happy if my Mum had a partner who she was happy with and did holidays. My Mum was divorced at 40 yrs old with 3 kids. She has so much love to give and i would have loved to see someone love her.
Sorry going off track, no you shouldn't feel guilty x

BevMarsh · 18/03/2023 17:43

Is your 19yr old working or in education?
Can your 14yr old just miss school like that?

aSofaNearYou · 18/03/2023 17:44

No I wouldn't feel guilty. They're getting their family holidays, this is something different and due the the circumstances of being separated doesn't affect them at all.

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Original poster
TomAllenWife · 18/03/2023 17:46

My 14 year old doesn't miss school

The new year holiday is in the holidays
The city break is in the Easter hols
And his dad is taking him in summer hols

The 19 year old is working full time, I offer to pay any accommodation but he has to pay for flights
He's also going on a boys hol with his mates that he's funding

OP posts:
Original poster
TomAllenWife · 18/03/2023 17:47

Summer2424 · 18/03/2023 17:40

Hi @TomAllenWife i'd be so happy if my Mum had a partner who she was happy with and did holidays. My Mum was divorced at 40 yrs old with 3 kids. She has so much love to give and i would have loved to see someone love her.
Sorry going off track, no you shouldn't feel guilty x

Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
TomAllenWife · 18/03/2023 17:48

aSofaNearYou · 18/03/2023 17:44

No I wouldn't feel guilty. They're getting their family holidays, this is something different and due the the circumstances of being separated doesn't affect them at all.

I wouldn't go if it meant forfeiting their holidays
I've always ensured we have a trip as a family

OP posts:
Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 18/03/2023 17:49

We do variations of trips. Me and dh went away in January alone
. Going away Easter with 2 dc and leaving 2 home. Away in summer taking 3 dc. Away in autumn taking 4! Whatever works for those involved... Teens love parent /sibling - free time home alone!
Relationships between adults need nurturing also op! Bung them take away money and I am sure they will be more than fine!

Original poster
TomAllenWife · 19/03/2023 10:23

Thank you for these replies, feel less guilty (sort of) now

They're still eye rolling 🙄

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