DD is nearly two, her vocabulary is good for her age. She has noticed she doesn’t have her dad around and ever since she was born I’ve told him he’s welcome to see her but he saw her once three months in and then we would text now and then about money. He was always generally pleasant and we were polite to each other but every time I mentioned him seeing her he’d say ‘thanks, I’d like to at some point.’ He was quite unpleasant when we were together and didn’t cope well with stress so I decided when dd was born that I would take the approach of not pushing anything but making it clear he could see her/was invited to things now and then such as the zoo. Again he would say he was open to it but now wasn’t a good time.
Now she is starting nursery and more aware of things I know in a year or so I may get questions from her about where he is. I want to ask if if he’s got ANY intention of having contact otherwise I need to prepare her and manage his absence for her as she grows up. I really hate the uncertainty that he could pop up at any time - he did this when she was a few months old and saw her and then again when she was one. He’s never explained why he went off the radar again but he’s still living alone, no other commitments so I don’t think it’s related to that.
I guess now I’ve typed this I can see asking him won’t do much will it? I am sad he can’t see that his behaviour and decisions will impact her one way or another and it feels quite cruel to not be clear.