14 month old bad temper - please tell me it's just a phase!?

[Bluemum21]

I have a 14month old DS who is a funny, loving, sweet natured little boy. He has recently started nursery 2 days a week and 2 days with grandparents as I have gone back to work. He has Fridays with me as I have them off. This has been the routine for about 6 weeks now.

The last week or so he has been having the most intense temper tantrums, mainly with me, a little bit with his dad and none at all with anyone outside of us (nursery, grandparents etc).
The smallest thing will set him off - nappy change, eating, not being able to work out an activity/ toy for example.

We suspect he might be teething but his lovely good moods are very rare these days! It just seems like he's angry all the time.

Please tell me this is just a phase and we're not going to have to call supernanny!? (Joke, obviously - before anyone comes for me)

Sorry - realise I should probably elaborate on what I mean by temper tantrums. I'm talking screaming, crying, throwing things, pushing us away, writhing around, throwing himself on the floor - the works!
He's normally so gentle and sweet, and I know there's heaps of developmental things going on right now but I miss my loving little baby!!

I've also got a 14 month old and could have written this almost word for word.

She has always been a very happy baby so at first I was really quite worried when it started, but after talking to a few people I've learned it indeed is a phase and will hopefully pass soon.

I've found it's worse if she is hungry, tired or sick, but some days she seems to be in a bad mood all day for no apparent reason.

I think a lot of it comes from frustration, as I can tell my little one knows what's going on now and wants to interact/express herself but can't properly yet! She is also in the exploring everything stage which sometimes is of course not possible or too dangerous, so telling her no winds her up no end!

@MKSlava it's so difficult isn't it! But I must say it's comforting to know that a) I'm not alone and b) it hopefully is just a phase!

Definitely agree it's frustration! My boy is very nearly walking, but fell over one time and since then he refuses to even stand and any form of encouragement just ends in a meltdown!

How long has your daughter been acting this way? I hope you're seeing a light at the end of the tunnel!

It sounds like this the beginning of toddler attitude to me. It's totally normal. Some toddlers peak earlier than others, sometimes it's constant and sometimes in waves, but it's to be expected. It may reduce for a bit once he's less frustrated.

For us it started at about this age, peaked at about 2.5 and mostly died down by 3ish unless very overtired.

My survival strategy had been to just try not to let them get to me, and to not take them personally. It's hard though.

@Babyboomtastic good to know, thank you!

Agreed that it's hard not to let it get to you. The thing that is tough is that he's grumpiest when he's at home with me. I know they do usually save their fussiness for their parents but I can't help but feel upset when he's miserable at home yet when he sees his grandparents it's like butter wouldn't melt!

I’m really struggling with my 12 month with the exact same problem. Please tell me it’s got better for you because I don’t know how much longer I can take of this!

You know when a lot of people say that toddlers are the most difficult stage of parenting, well 12m is the very beginning of toddlerhood.

These tantrums are the starting rumbles for the next couple of years. Some peak earlier than others, but yeah, it's not easy.

You do get better at coping with them though in time.

@Babyboomtastic hes literally changed personalities over night. I’m not coping very well

There will be lots of things involved here

Sudden change of routine - probably more tired than usual. Different settings doing things differently, at different times etc. Naps, meals, food, play opportunities, getting outside all being done differently at nursery, by granny and at home.

Frustration - inability to move and to communicate really begins to annoy them at this age. Give him a chance to be involved with some decisions - eg holding out 2toys for him to choose, or pointing to what he wants to wear etc

Teething

Lighter evenings affecting his sleep

Slightly under the weather due to bugs picked up at nursery.

@Seeline all of these things are happening right now so that makes me feel good that that could be the reason and it’s not just a personality change but also really guilty that he’s going through this. He’s also not crawling either

Mines 15.5 months and I think I wrote this exact same post 6 weeks ago! I felt worried my happy child had disappeared.

The moods/tantrums come and go, I think it’s just the stage he’s in right now, emotions are very close to the surface - big big leaps and lots of frustrations in the journey through walking and talking! But I’m seeing more of my sunny boy now he’s walking.

The thing that helps us the most is being outside as much as possible. He’s happiest when out and about doing things.

And 💯 with the being delightful for others! He’s all smiles and sunshine with his aunties 🙄

The terrible twos is a myth. It starts not long after the first birthday in my experience!

I don't want to jinx it but after his afternoon nap he woke up to being back to my normal lovely boy!! Bath time was smooth, no screaming fit whilst getting him dressed and down to sleep like a dream!! He's back at nursery for 3 days tomorrow so really hoping that doesn't shift him back to the dark side!

My little boy was pretty horrendous at that sort of age and calmed down a fair bit quite quickly. He still had a lot of tantrums but they were easier to diffuse. Have you seen big little feelings on IG? Those are the sorts of tactics we used and it seemed to work. One of my 13 month old daughters has turned into a scary beast over the last week or so but the other one is still very cute and cuddly. They just don’t really understand what you’re saying to them at this age but they quickly do and you can start to calm them down (sometimes, somewhat).