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Parenting

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Friend with health anxiety over child that's effecting their life

4 replies

Apricotjoy · 14/03/2023 11:10

A very good friend of mine has symptoms similar I would say to Munchausen by proxy. Perhaps it's health anxiety. They have a young teen child who they won't allow to do anything. Go to the toilet, bathe, even eating is effected. They will say teen can't cut their own food, so they cut it up. They are convinced their kid can't do anything without being seriously hurt. The child can't go out with friends, go on holiday, school trips. As a result of her being like this since the teen was a baby the teen won't do anything for themselves and actually thinks there is something seriously wrong and will have a tantrum if for example mum doesn't put their shoes on for them. The teen is 13. They go to school and school says no issues at all. But mum will insist teen can't hold a pencil or can't do sports. Teen has mild EDS. As soon as mum heard this, teen was suddenly dislocating all their joints. It was a great excuse and it didn't happen before. Mum has taken teen to doctors multiple times with what she thinks they may have....migraines, cancer, celiacs, mast cell activation syndrome and everything was fine. Recently the kid was late walking home from school and she threw a fit. They were 20 minutes late as they were chatting with a friend. I worry it's really effecting them now. I wondered if I should report it, but then I also feel like I'm going behind her back . I've tried to speak with her about it. Taken her out for coffee and brought it up but she insists her teen is practically disabled. Even her family have tried to speak with her to no avail. Should I keep my nose out of it? I do try to support her, but I am concerned. She loves her child more than anything and I believe it's an anxiety thing. She also has two other younger kids that she is mostly fine with. The are 3 and 5. Perhaps I'm over analysing it?

OP posts:
Divebar2021 · 14/03/2023 11:12

Can you just clarify where dad is in all of this?

Apricotjoy · 14/03/2023 11:14

No dad on the scene at all. Zero contact. Single mum.

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 14/03/2023 11:41

its child abuse. I would contact social services and contact the GP if you know where she’s registered

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Divebar2021 · 14/03/2023 13:27

I’m not sure if it will meet the threshold for SS intervention but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t flag it up ( although I appreciate the issue about going behind your friends back). Another option would be to speak to the child’s school - they will have a CP lead.

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