Toddler crying at every nursery drop off.

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We are nearly 2 years down the line and DS (2 years 9 months) still cries, clings and tantrums at pretty much every nursery drop off. If anything, it’s getting worse, not better. We are happy with the nursery, they have good facilities, low staff turnover and they all seem exceptionally kind. DS is naturally highly strung, emotional and sensitive so I think it’s more him then the nursery, IYSWIM. Generally, he’s okay after about half an hour, but I’m just so done with the battle every morning before work. DH and I are in healthcare so we need the longer opening hours that a childminder can’t give. He does 3 days per week, Tue, Wed and Fri.

I’m pregnant, due when DS is 3 and I’m just wondering about pulling him out for the whole year, even though we’d miss out on our free hours. I don’t know if this will make school worse though down the line - he’s a June birthday so will only just be 4 on starting school. I’m just at my wits end I’m sick of turning up to work having had a screaming toddler pulled off me. Any help appreciated.

After 2 years it sounds like an ingrained habit to be honest. I assume he's like it for both you and dad so have you tried getting someone else to drop him off for a week or 2 that might be enough to break the habit.

Thanks for your reply. He’s worse for me but DH gets a pretty similar treatment. DHs family are abroad and mine are 200 miles away so we’ve got nobody unfortunately. Could ask friends but they are busy with their own DC and, knowing DS, he’d scream being handed over to one of them as well 🤦🏼I think you are right that’s it partly habit, it’s just horrible how traumatic he seems to find the whole thing!

My younger DS is a similar age and does this periodically for a couple of weeks at a time.

OP, when does the upset start on nursery mornings? Is it literally at the nursery door, or is it earlier in the routine e.g. getting dressed or getting in the car?

If it literally just starts at the nursery door, I'd try and breeze through it (I know its hard when they cling to your leg!) Perhaps ask nursery if there's something they can do differently, like making sure you don't have to queue too long at dropoff. It's in their interests to have your DS go in happy and not screaming so worth asking for their suggestions.

Mine tends to start the crying when getting dressed in the morning, so we have fun things that only happen on nursery mornings. Starting with a particular (short) TV programme for getting dressed, and specific toys to take in the car, which he then leaves on his car seat when we get there and knows he can have them again after nursery. Works brilliantly.