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My Judgemental mother

1 reply

SK93 · 13/03/2023 20:14

I don't even know where to start but I'm so upset.

Little back story, me and my husband have recently separated and he is also working away until the end of the month (he's been away since november). I live far away from family and friends and have an 11 month old son and 3 year old daughter. I've had a real tough time since he's been gone And I'm now completely burnt out from doing everything. My son is an awful sleeper and very difficult baby in general. I feel like I haven't slept in a year.im physically and mentally exhausted every day. I'm counting down the days till my ex gets back so I can have a much needed break. I was thinking of visiting my sister for a few nights just to get away and have a full night sleep etc

My mum has tonight asked me in a judgy way 'why do you want a break'. I literally felt so guilty instantly for even wanting a night off. She said she brought 4 of us up as a single parent and never had a night off and wanted of taken one even if it was offered. She said she was more concerned about us kids (as of I'm not about my own). When I said I felt like she was judging me for wanting a break she got so angry and defensive saying 'why can I never voice my opinion without someone saying I'm being judgy'. I don't even know what to say to her but she's made me so upset and feeling guilty now I don't think I should have a night off. I'm honestly so low at the moment, I broke down to my health visitor who said I have high anxiety and depression. I feel like why doesn't my mum be more supportive and understand everyone deserves a break? I said to her when you have children ypu do it with someone, not to be a single parent so when you are in a relationship naturally you share the parental responsibility and help each other out so in a way you get small breaks here and there throughout the day. I haven't had that for 7 put of the last 8 months (he was away June to October to). I've been doing everything 24hours a day 7 days a week surely I can have one night off and not be made to feel guilty. Or am I being selfish?? Please help I don't know what to say to her. She can't even apologise for upsetting me and is now just angry that I challenged her questions to me. Don't know what to do.

OP posts:
kirsty2023 · 13/03/2023 20:38

SK93 · 13/03/2023 20:14

I don't even know where to start but I'm so upset.

Little back story, me and my husband have recently separated and he is also working away until the end of the month (he's been away since november). I live far away from family and friends and have an 11 month old son and 3 year old daughter. I've had a real tough time since he's been gone And I'm now completely burnt out from doing everything. My son is an awful sleeper and very difficult baby in general. I feel like I haven't slept in a year.im physically and mentally exhausted every day. I'm counting down the days till my ex gets back so I can have a much needed break. I was thinking of visiting my sister for a few nights just to get away and have a full night sleep etc

My mum has tonight asked me in a judgy way 'why do you want a break'. I literally felt so guilty instantly for even wanting a night off. She said she brought 4 of us up as a single parent and never had a night off and wanted of taken one even if it was offered. She said she was more concerned about us kids (as of I'm not about my own). When I said I felt like she was judging me for wanting a break she got so angry and defensive saying 'why can I never voice my opinion without someone saying I'm being judgy'. I don't even know what to say to her but she's made me so upset and feeling guilty now I don't think I should have a night off. I'm honestly so low at the moment, I broke down to my health visitor who said I have high anxiety and depression. I feel like why doesn't my mum be more supportive and understand everyone deserves a break? I said to her when you have children ypu do it with someone, not to be a single parent so when you are in a relationship naturally you share the parental responsibility and help each other out so in a way you get small breaks here and there throughout the day. I haven't had that for 7 put of the last 8 months (he was away June to October to). I've been doing everything 24hours a day 7 days a week surely I can have one night off and not be made to feel guilty. Or am I being selfish?? Please help I don't know what to say to her. She can't even apologise for upsetting me and is now just angry that I challenged her questions to me. Don't know what to do.

If it was me I would tell her to piss off and mind her own business I've got a 3 year old and a12 week old baby and I wouldn't even leave my kids with my mum... you should never feel guilty for wanting some time to yourself u deserve it I've got a other half but he's no help just an extra kid really lol x

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