How do I stop my 18 month old hitting and biting

[BQ91]

Hi, my toddler has started to hit people in the face, trying to hit the dog, and when I pick her up for a cuddle she sometimes bites me. She used to do the hitting and biting fairly infrequently but has got a lot worse recently, not sure if it’s because we have a 3 week old at home. I am consistently telling her off when she hits me, others and the dog. And I tell other people to make sure they tell her off too. She just doesn’t seem bothered when I tell her off. I have started to put her down and turn away when she hits but again she just walks off and plays with something, completely unbothered. Has anyone got any advice on how to handle this? I am hoping it’s a stage but I want to nip this in the bud as soon as possible.

It is just a stage (my DS2 went through this and he is now a kind gentle boy) but a tricky one! With my DS, the thing that worked was, after ONE warning, to leave wherever we were and take him home immediately. He usually hit outside the house though - that doesn't work if she's hitting at home.

Can you work out what she’s trying to say when she hits or bites?

Good to know it’s just a stage but it’s so frustrating and disheartening! I will definitely try that when we are out and she does it thank you!

She doesn’t say anything when she hits, she just looks at your face and then swipes at it, comes completely out the blue. Nursery said she walks past children and will just hit on the way past. They said they don’t think it’s malicious but just she doesn’t think and does it on impulse. I just have no idea why she’s doing it so much.

This was a stage both mine went through; I would move them away from me and say no we don’t do that so if we were having a cuddle or they were sitting on my lap I’d take them off and move away. I would try to pre empt it sometimes too. It feels like at the time what you’re doing isn’t working then one day you realise it’s not a problem any more

its good to know that others have been through this and came out the other side! I will carry on doing what I’m doing and hope one day she will stop!

Not much advice but I could never imagine telling an 18 month old off

they have ZERO impulse control. They also do not understand what they’re doing is ‘wrong’ and so you are wasting your time ‘telling them off’.

I'd sort of agree with the pp re perhaps changing your focus from telling her off (which gives the negative action attention) to telling her what behaviour you want in a calm and controlled manner eg we don't hit, we use gentle hands. And demo gentle hands. If she does it to someone other than you, reinforce the same statement and then give the person/child she has hit/bitten lots of attention, and ignore her.

Also, until you've got it sorted, please keep her away from your dog.