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Original poster

5 month old sleep - help!

18 replies

MrsSamR · 13/03/2023 01:48

Hi ladies,

I really need your advice as I am at breaking point with my 5 month old daughter's sleep!

I'll admit that I'm one of those Mums who had a good sleeper first time round and the sleep deprivation this time round is killing me!

She was doing pretty well at night, some long stretches and even sleeping through on occasion. Around 4 months it all went to pot and I thought it was the 4 month sleep regression and it would pass but it's gotten worse!

She was doing about a 4 hour stretch (10-2) and then waking and from that point onwards wanting to he held to sleep which I just did as it stopped her crying and I thought she needed the comfort and as I'd had a 4 hour stretch of sleep it felt manageable.

She is now only doing a 2 hour stretch sometimes less and then wants to be held. She is asleep on me but as soon as I try and put her down in her Snuzpod she wakes up crying. She is also kind of writhing around and flinging her arms around and kicking her legs. Can't work out if she's uncomfortable somehow? No history of reflux or signs of cmpa but is sometimes a bit farty.

I have tried white noise, shushing, rubbing her tummy, stroking her face and rocking her and nothing works. I can see she's tired as she's rubbing her eyes but it's like she's forgotten how to drift off! I don't understand it as during the day she naps in her bassinet, on her back absolutely fine and I put her down awake when I see she's tired so she can self soothe.

She's teething which I know doesn't help and is why I've been letting her sleep on me/giving her the comfort but I don't want to create bad sleep associations where she'll only sleep on me but I don't know what else to do and worry she won't get enough sleep otherwise so I just let her sleep on me and I stay awake!

As you can imagine I'm absolutely knackered and also have an almost 3 year old to look after so somethings got to give.

Any advice/thoughts much appreciated!

OP posts:

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Letsbekindplease · 13/03/2023 05:52

Hi op. My daughter was exactly the same. She slept through the night until 4 month slee regression then started waking multiple times. It is torture. The only thing that worked for us is co sleeping. As soon as she’s in bed with us she seems more settled. Can be quite unsettled but always manages to stay asleep. She’s 8 mo tha and we’re still bringing her into bed with us when she won’t fall asleep on her own.

the new thing with us is a 4.30 am wake which is absolutely hell. She’s wide awake and won’t go back down.

can’t offer any other advice other than co sleeping I’m afraid.

Original poster

MrsSamR · 13/03/2023 07:35

Thank you for your response. At least it's not just me wondering where it all went wrong! I'm going to try and be really on it with wake windows, nap schedule and bedtime routine. As my first was such a good sleeper I could be a bit more relaxed with her and with having a 3 year old as well I've not been as precise as I could have been. Not sure if it will help or if it's just a phase and/or her teeth popping through may help. She also has a stinking cold so it seems to be a few things at once bless her. I'm hoping she'll learn to roll soon as that helped her sister to sleep much better.

OP posts:

Letsbekindplease · 13/03/2023 13:44

I feel like you’re living my life here haha. I have a 3 year old too. I keep telling myself it will get better. Hold onto hope that it will…eventually

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Letsbekindplease · 13/03/2023 13:44

And my baby also has a cold. She’s had a snotty nose for 6 weeks and a cough for well over a week. Just a nightmare.

Original poster

MrsSamR · 14/03/2023 01:48

Kept a really close eye on tiredness cues today and made sure to stick to wake windows and put her down in her bassinet for naps awake but drowsy. All fine throughout the day but then she always has been. Then bath, bottle and down in her bassinet by 7. She woke at 8ish for her final feed so I gave her that upstairs and put her down in her Snuzpod awake at 8.45. Also cleared her nose with saline spray and put some snufflebabe on her chest. We were both asleep by 9! She woke at 12.30 which isn't great but marginally better. Just gave her another bottle and hoping for another stretch of sleep. So out of my depth with it all as my first slept through consistently from 10 weeks old!

OP posts:

Letsbekindplease · 15/03/2023 18:01

Ya he will get there. It’s so hard isn’t it. Just fees there’s no road back to the good sleep. I know exactly how you feel. How did she do after the bottle at 12.30 x

Letsbekindplease · 15/03/2023 18:01

She not he lol

Original poster

MrsSamR · 15/03/2023 18:43

I'll let you off - you're tired like me! She went down for another few hours until 4.30 and then awake again!

Last night I went to bed with her at 8.30 and we were both asleep by 9...she woke at 11.20! Whyyyyyyy.

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsSamR · 15/03/2023 18:44

I worry she's napping too much in the day and has almost become nocturnal but I don't feel as though I can deprive her of sleep when she's sleeping so badly at night. It's so hard to know what to do for the best. I'm just hoping it's a phase and it will change 🙏

OP posts:

moregarlic · 15/03/2023 18:48

I had one of those! The four month regression that never ended. Hellish. We ended up doing gradual retreat at 6 months and haven't looked back - used this framework www.mumsnet.com/talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

cherrytreecottage · 15/03/2023 19:00

This was honestly my life not too long ago, I was pulling my hair out. We co-slept for a while because it was the only way any of us could get any sleep...but I knew that wouldn't solve it long term. I ended up moving her to her own room at just over 5 months - mainly because I felt she was getting too big for the Snuzpod and everytime she was wailing her arms and legs they were hitting the sides etc. but also I felt like we were all disturbing each other - anytime she moved, I'd wake, DH would roll over or snore & she'd then become restless. We had 2 weeks of wake ups while she was in her own room, where I'd bring her back into our bed or give a night feed but she's pretty consistently going 7pm ish until 6.30am now, and she's nearly 7 months.

Original poster

MrsSamR · 15/03/2023 19:43

This gives me hope! We can move her next month so fingers crossed that might help if it doesn't improve before then (still going to bed each night foolishly hoping it may be better!)

OP posts:

Santaslittlehelper83 · 15/03/2023 19:45

You've probably already tried but if it's teething pain have you tried calpol or teething gels to see if they helps. I feel your pain my 5 mo sleep is horrendous but she will co sleep next to me so I am getting some chunks of sleep. She has alway only settled on her side, have you tried that? I then gently ease her onto her back when in a deep sleep as she is not yet rolling. I plan to move her to her own room at 6 months to see if that makes a difference.

Ftmbabyfun · 15/03/2023 22:57

This is me! My first was amazing, second (and last!!!) is awful - I just wasn’t prepared!

we got rid of his dummy 3 weeks ago as every 30 minutes it had to be put back in but I’m seriously considering giving it back as I’ve become a human dummy.

I don’t really like co sleeping but him being no more than 30cm away from me is the only thing currently working to get a few hours sleep

so no advice but solidarity! It will pass or they will be 18 and in someone else’s bed!!!!

Glitterstars · 15/03/2023 23:02

Similar situation, we co sleep and have down from the start as would only settle really close to me. I was fine with it as he was sleeping really well so even though I would prefer him to be in his next to me I have rolled with it cos I’m getting more sleep than I was with my first. That was until a couple of weeks ago and the 4 month sleep regression hits. He used to last feed at 7 be down at 7:30 and sleep til 2 or 3 gave a feed and then sleep til at least 7. Now he is up at 11,2,5 🤪🤪🤪 and sometimes will only sleep if I’m holding him which is grim. Hoping it ends soon!

UdderlyBaffled · 15/03/2023 23:11

Hi OP just wanted to say I completely sympathise as my first was exactly like this. They’re all so different but how but we survived was co-sleeping up to 8mo when she went in her own room but still brought her back into our bed at her first wake up. Once she was in her own room we would rock/cuddle to sleep then transfer to the cot.
Then at around 12/13mo we put her in her cot to sleep. She went in wide awake as the whole drowsy but awake thing just never worked. It took 2hours of sitting next to her before she fell asleep. There were a few tears but mostly she just played/babbled and if she got really upset I did lean in for cuddles and comfort. We still offered comfort if she woke in the night but she had to go back to sleep in her cot. After about a week it just clicked and although we still have to sit next to her for 20min each evening she sleeps through every night. I don’t think that would have happened if we had continued cuddling/rocking to sleep but I also think she just wasn’t ready to do it any sooner.

Original poster

MrsSamR · 16/03/2023 02:24

Thanks ladies for all the tips/advice/solidarity 👊

Sounds like it's all very normal for this age - not that that makes the sleep deprivation any easier.

Just have to remember this too shall pass!

OP posts:

Bullzeye · 16/03/2023 10:27

My baby is 15 weeks old now and EBF.
He has only ever slept for a max of 2hours and waking for a feed at that time.
I am beyond exhausted.
Last night he was awake every hour from 12am 🙃
My advice would be cosleep until the fussy stage passes. You are lucky you had those long stretches at the beginning which shows she's capable of being a good sleeper. I don't think my DS is ever going to give me a break!!

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